Rays-Phillies World Series Shit-show

Bottom-line, this could be one of the most offensive World Series to ever hit the big stage. Both of these lineups are STACKED offensively and could output double digits in any game. That being said, here are my keys to the series for each team:

RAYS:

Relief Pitchers - This was the Achilles heel in the series altering game in the Red Sox series. The infamous 12 inning win by the Sox, 8 runs via Dan Wheeler, J.P. Howell and company. However, the next game they responded by throwing four shutout innings and I think we all saw their performance last night.

The Rays have some ridiculous talent to throw at you in the end of a game: David Price, Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell, Edwin Jackson. All of those guys have fastballs above 95 (except Howell who throws all off-speed junk) and can turn hitters around to walk to their dugouts in big spots.

RUN RUN RUN - The Phillies have had problems defending the running game all season and the Rays have three players in the middle of their lineup who can steal a base at any given moment (Iwamura, Upton, Crawford). If the Rays get their lead off hitters on the base paths, they could be forcing the Phillies pitchers to deal in some high pressure situations. Could turn out to be a huge part of the Rays offense.

Happy Hour Hitters - Ah, the 5-9 club. Other than the game last night (2 rbi's, 1 HR) they have been a huge waste of life during the post season. If they can get any sort of streak going, this team is going to put up over ten runs on the board. Over a three game period, the 1-2-3-4 hitters put up 21 runs, by themselves.


Stop Wearing Ray-Hawks: Well get your fans to stop, because they look retarded.

PHILLIES:


Phillies Starters - These guys are going to have to pitch the first run through the lineup perfectly. The Rays scored 2 or more runs in the first inning in 3 of the last seven games, in the games they didn't score in the first inning, they T'd off their next time around. The Rays are VERY good their second time through the lineup, they get pitcher's timing down quickly and sit on pitches and usually crush them if you give them what they are looking for. If Ruiz & Co. can keep them off kilter through 6 innings and limit them to three runs , the Phillies will win this series.

Stop Pitching Upton Fastballs - Jesus H. Christ he's hit 7 HR's in the postseason (4 in his last 7 games) and he had 9 all season long. Every HR he has hit he was sitting on a fastball and the pitcher's delivered it to him. I think it's safe to say he's locked in right now, stop giving Mr. 210 Ding Dong's for breakfast.

(By the way if you're wondering what Mr. 210 means, it's a shortcut for saying Blow J...second letter in the alphabet and the tenth...hence B.J. Upton's nickname is Mr. 210)

Beat Up James Shields - I mean Tanya Harding the crap out of him. Pull out a crow bar and break his femur in nine places. Shields has not been solid in the postseason, he seems like he's lost a little of his "bad-assness." Plus shelling anyone who is referred to as "Jamie" would make it all the more fun. If Philly can come out of Tampa with one win against one of their dominant young pitchers, I would consider it a huge boost and Shields is their best chance. Philly is going to be going NUTS for the first world series in thirty years (tickets for standing room only are $800 on stub hub right now) and I think they can ride that to at least two wins at home.

This is going to be the best team the Phillies have faced in nearly two months since they played the Cubs in Chicago. The bottom line is that this series is going to come down to whether or not the Phillies can keep up with the offense of the Rays. The offensive talent on these clubs is even, however the pitching they will be facing is not. The Rays will be facing are far less impressive pitching rotation, therefore the Phillies are going to need to play much better than normal in order to win this series.

I'm going to put up a "Key Players" post a little later tonight hopefully so check back again soon...

This post can only be ended by three words: Fuck You Boston

UPDATE: There is a better way to end this post....Tampa women are showing their support, bikini wax style. I wonder if females in Philadelphia will top this by doing a P and dying it red/white/blue?