The 3rd Nipple: Rays

1st inning:

Jon Lester looks un-freakin-believable. I saw him completely dismantle my Angels and he seems like he's out to embarrass the Rays like he has all season (3-0 1.92 ERA in three starts vs. the Rays).

What a wiener to put up against Lester....Matt Garza? I might respect him more if he shaved his ridiculously retarded looking chin patch...is he trying to look like an idiot to throw off batters?

2nd inning:

I have a man crush on Evan Longoria. The kid is 23 years old and is playing the game like he's in a little league game; he has this huge wad of gum in his mouth and is chewing it like a cow...from Jersey. He's incredibly patient at the plate and judging by his first two at bats in the playoffs (2 HR's on the first two pitches he saw)...he has the power to knock anything out of the park.

There's some jack ass in the stands proudly rocking a West Virginia football jersey...he looks like a moron and is a pretty good rendition of why I absolutely HATE all Red Sox fans.

How is Alex Cora still playing baseball? isn't he 90?

3rd inning:

The Rays are going to win this game if they keep this lead batter on thing up. Lester didn't let up a single lead off batter for the entire divisional series against the Halos. The Rays are 2/3 against him already. Longoria scored when he got on in the second and it looks like Bartlett will score now.

- AAAAAAAND it worked again....BJ UPTON BOMB over the monster. He crushed that pitch. God that kid has talent.

- My god, Evan Longoria...what a shot. That's two HR's...hahaha I HATE BOSTON.

This picture to the right is a pretty good example of how this kid is all the time. Happy go lucky kid who is pumped to be pissing on Boston's couch.

- Dustin Pedroia is DIALED IN. That's two rockets off of the monster. The only reason that isn't two doubles is because Crawford played it perfectly and threw a cannon to second and he turned around. That could turn out to be huge with Ortiz up right now.

- FULL COUNT ON ORTIZ...STRIKE HIM OUT

- Evan Longoria just made the lamest attempt at a crowd dive I have ever seen. I'm surprised he didn't get hit with a piece of pizza...

- Ortiz is so past his prime, what a lame pop-out

- I think Kevin Youkalis, I spelled it wrong on purpose, is the lamest of all Red Sox and I hope he gets beaned in the head.

4th inning

Dioner Navarro might be the most under-rated catcher in baseball. He's young, he's solid defensively and above average offensively. Fantasy owners be aware.

Uneventful top of the 4th, let's see if Boston can make this interesting.

5th inning

Is it just me or did this game just get incredibly boring?

BJ Upton continuing his season full of bone head mistakes. He was benched for not hustling to first, twice. Now he had a beautiful sacrifice bunt on the shift and he rounded second base like a moron and got thrown out by Hookalis. That is a big play if Crawford gets a hit here....didn't turn out to be important, or entertaining, like this game...

Does anyone else who reads this watch "Soup" on E!...that show is ridiculously under-rated and needs to be given some props much more often. I'm going to do so now because this game is boring... I'll be updating with funny clips until this game stops making me tired.

HAHAHA this has quickly changed into an ongoing focus on the show "Cheaters."

This is awesome, I'm sure everyone has seen this...