That you need to take a Tylenol after every week to comprehend what in the hell is going on.
I feel like Tom Cruise in Rain Man every Sunday. There's some higher power trying to tell me to buy my underwear at K-Mart in Cinci (that the Browns really aren't that bad) even though my gut logic tells me I can buy it anywhere (they are absolutely horrible). Then the shit storm that was last night occurs (The Browns looked like the '07 Browns) and I pull the car over (grab a bottle of rum) and freak the f*** out (chug the entire thing) until coming to my senses (passing out on the floor).
Great scene from a great movie, I don't know what kind of disease I have that makes these things pop into my head...
FOCUS
I've decided to come up with a "TOP FIVE LEARNING'S" recap, that I think sounds a lot more intelligent when said in Spanish, to put up every week...here's Week 6.
Cinco Primeros Aprendizajes
UNO - Peyton's Still Got It
I don't know if anyone else saw this game, but the Ravens were out-coached on Sunday. You can go down to previous posts and see that I thought this game was going to be close, possibly close enough for the Ravens to win. Wow was I wrong. All the Colts did was come out in the first half and absolutely DESTROY the Ravens through the air; to the tune of 2 TD's to Marvin Harrison and one to Reggie Wayne.
It was like the team from '06 was back running the show...in both cases.
One thing an amateur would have missed was that this could-be entirely contributed to Reggie Wayne being pushed to the slot and Corey Ivy having the worst day of his career. Reggie would go on the right side of the field (with Marvin outside) and run inside routes (on a match up with Corey Ivy) while Marvin ran deep routes on Chris McAllister all day.
The thing is Corey Ivy got his ass handed to him all day and McAllister was playing support all day because of this. On two different occasions Marvin released deep (one of them for a TD) and got looks from Peyton. Then after Marvin's TD, McAllister said "F You Ivy cover him yourself." The Colts next drive ended with a hitch on the outside keeping McAllister close and running a corner over top with Wayne scoring. The Ravens D made adjustments in the second half, but the damage was too much.
Either way, this showed me that Indy's offense still has some life in it. Baltimore scored it's usual 13 points a game, but their running game was stuffed all day, forcing Flacco to learn to throw the football (to the tune of three picks).
Indy's next game against GB should give everyone a pretty good idea if they can expect to see the Colts in the playoffs.
DOS - The NFC South Can Beat Anyone, Any Week
Did you know for the last five years, the team to finish in last in the NFC South has won the following year? How ridiculous unreal is that?
That being said, this headline is nowhere what you're thinking. The NFC South teams are so inconsistent that I blame them for half o0f my headaches so far this season. Things burning holes in my brain:
- How in god's name was Carolina even close enough to San Diego to get a last second TD?
- But then bad enough to get their asses handed to them in Tampa Bay?
- How is ATL, a team with a rookie head coach and a rookie QB able to beat Green Bay and then beat Chicago last week?????
- How is TB able to beat anyone with their offense? They have no capable WR's...
Bottom line is any given week any NFC South team could play like a Super Bowl contender or could play like the Chiefs...well not that bad, maybe the Rams. That being said, you shouldn't bet on any game involving the NFC South, you might feel like an idiot afterwards.
TRES - New England is HORRIBLE
I've talked to some friends who are Pats fans and San Diego fans and there has been a consensus thrown into the air; New England is screwed.
This is all stemming from Randy Moss's loss interest and the Pats loss of Brady's leadership. Brady wasn't a QB, he was a leader. You could tell after he made those ridiculous passes to Moss last year; he would be either pumping his fists because of a big play or running to the end zone to hip bump Randy on nearly every other play. Their big play mentality is gone, along with their running game and their ability to win.
Their last three games have NOT been impressive: 38-13 destruction by way of Miami, a 30-21 win in SF in which Nolan was blatantly out coached by Bill, and throwing out a late TD, a 30-3 loss to San Diego.
This team is bad, I see Bill putting on about 50 more pounds and finally filling out those sweatshirts.
CUATRO - Californication Has Over-Taken Entourage
If you haven't taken time out of your day to watch this show, you need to immediately. Take your lazy ass away from this web site and go On Demand that shit right now...well after you read this.
The show is hilarious, guaranteed tits every episode, hilarious characters and a surprisingly great plot line.
It also gives you a whole new appreciation for David Duchovny. In the first season he has sex with almost 20 different chicks (including the one on the right in this picture) and is now (in real life) checked into rehab for sex addiction. Any show that makes you become an addict to sex should be watched every week...write that down...
OCHO - CINCO - The Bengals Could Be 0-11
The Bengals are SO BAD. They couldn't even muster enough talent up to beat a horrible Jets team. They have a brutal schedule coming up and I don't see them winning any of the games. Their next five games include 2 against PIT, @ HOU, JAX, PHI, YIKES! Good luck winning any of those games. I think their only possibility is against Houston which boasts an impressive passing offense (biggest weakness of CIN). With Palmer possibly sidelined for the foreseeable future (reportedly entertaining the thought of Tommy-John surgery) I don't see Kirkpatrick taking this team anywhere.
Trade Ocho-Stinko to the Eagles already so we can win a title, Thanks.
I hope you didn't learn a damb thing from that whole post, because I just blacked out at work for a half hour and this is what showed up...
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