Big Time Baseball Free Agents

This off-season marks an unprecedented number of big time free agents who find themselves completely open to moving anywhere in the country, given you have the dough available to do so.

It also marks a timeless struggle between the Yankees and every other team in baseball for the best players in the market. We all know the Yankees have deep pockets, but now there are teams across the country that have equally deep, or even deeper pockets to go after those prize-possession players.

I'm going to give a breakdown of the big name players available, issues teams might run into, hints at where they want to play and anything else I see fit.

C.C. Sabathia -

Negatives: I hate this guy. He's 300 pounds, pitched well over 8,000 innings last season and can be incredibly un-impressive at times. Pitched a TON of inning last year, big health question mark.

Positives: FILTHY slider, I mean un-hittable stuff at times. Durable up to this point. He will do anything it takes to win (like when he pitched the Brewers into the playoffs BY HIMSELF) including pitching consecutive complete games on short rest. The fact that it's completely within the realm of possibility to hear a story in which he is "running around a McDonald's stealing every one's hamburgers and jamming them down his throat."

That last point means I'm dubbing C.C. the new "Hamburglar." This is something that hasn't been mentioned since Bartolo Colon's fat ass came into Anaheim and stunk up the joint with his sausage fingers...

Being pursued by: Angels, Yankees, Brewers, Giants, Dodgers.

Possible issues: C.C. has made it very obvious that he is trying to move to the left coast. He grew up there and has made it public that he will take less money to be out West once again.

PROJECTION: L.A. Dodgers


Mark Teixeira -

Positives - Pure hitter, hits for power, very patient and is durable...almost a guarantee to hit over 100 RBI's for the next 6-7 years.

Negatives - Seems like he's too perfect, large possibility of turning out to be a robot. (unnecessary maintenance possible)

This guy is as close to having no risk as it comes. He's the best first baseman in the league hands down, yes I think he's as good as Pujols. He's young and title-hungry, go get him at any cost.

Being pursued by: Angels, Yankees, Red Sox, Nationals, Orioles

Possible issues: Scott Boras is his agent. This means LONG negotiations so he can work the numbers in favor of his client. Good thing is that Tex said he wants everything to be figured out by Christmas. His wife "doesn't know anyone in California." Boras wants a 10-year contract for the 28 year old Teixeira...which is RIDICULOUS.

The Yankees are most likely going to either sign C.C. or Teix and then sign another pitcher to nail up their rotation so given the current offer on the table for C.C. they might not be interested in Teix. However, the fact that they have a huge void after releasing Giambi would make you think otherwise. The Angels supposedly have a huge man-crush on him and have specifically stated he is their number one goal this off-season but their recent attention on C.C. would make you think otherwise. Your guess is as good as mine where he ends up

Projection: Los Angeles Angels


Manny Ramirez -

Positives: He can hit the shit out of the ball. He's incredibly loose and can take a lot of pressure off of a stressed clubhouse by making the game fun again. Opens the market for dread lock hats with your teams logo on it. High-fives fans after making catches.

Negatives: He's old and could be cancer on a clubhouse. Only an average left fielder. Has been cited for not trying to play through injuries, or caring for that matter. Opens the market for dread lock hats with your teams logo on it.

Being pursued by: Dodgers, Angels, Orioles

Possible issues: Manny wants a long term contract.

Manny being Manny is one of the most ridiculous attractions a team can have, in good ways and bad. He has a tale of two seasons in '08. He showed how he can ruin a team in the wrong clubhouse (Red Sox) and then went out West and showed how his attitude can bring together a team for the best in the right kind of clubhouse (Dodgers).

Projection: Nationals (They need some publicity to get people at the park, Manny will give it to them)



A.J. Burnett -

Positives: Has #1 stuff when he's on. Can strike out anyone, at any time. Still has 4-5 years left in him.

Negatives: He's 31 and is on the backside of his career. He's has injury problems in nearly every season he has pitched. Never compiled a dominant season in a non-contract year.

Being pursued by: Phillies, Yankees, Orioles, Braves, Red Sox

Possible issues: A.J. is looking for a 5-year deal which could be a bit too much for some teams. Was born in Arkansas, affinity for 210's could take his focus off of pitching.

I think A.J. is going to be the Yankees only decent free agent after C.C. ends up dropping their offer to go out west. He hasn't been impressive, but he's been good enough to warrant some attention. I don't see him being reliable, or being anything better than a #2 his entire career.

Projection: Yankees

Baseball, I Miss You

This past month has made me realize something; well actually, two things.

I hate cold weather and I love baseball more than any sport in the world.

I was expecting to find myself focused on the Eagles failure of a franchise and to have baseball be a mere afterthought...but the exact opposite has happened.

I could seriously care less about football right now. Maybe that's because it's been a painful 11 games for the, until recently, playoff-bound Eagles. Maybe it's because the league is being DOMINATED by my most hated team in the league, the New York Giants. Maybe it's because Michael Vick isn't in the league anymore. Maybe it's because I'm getting my ass handed to me in 4/5 of my fantasy leagues...I just don't know. The fact is, lately, I find my Sundays focused more around seeing how much FIFA 09 (filthy game by the way...) I can fit in and watching Colbert re-runs than around football. I mean I flip back and forth and watch parts of games, but just not with the same intensity I did last year.

Don't worry, I'm not going to stop writing about it, I know you guys love hearing my rants of stupidity too much to stop that. I watch it every Sunday and I don't plan on keeping my opinions to myself...

Actually I think I figured out what happened. I think my whole season ended two weeks ago when I was sitting in the Bengals stadium, looking into the sky and asking god how we just tied a team who's best receiver has a pony tail so long that it rivals my 12 year old cousin's. Part of me died that week knowing that McNabb was not going to be our quarterback next season and that our team was entering a dark hole. That part of me will hopefully come back next fall, but until then...my life is baseball.

Slightly Funny

Week 12 Foosball

Overlying Themes for Week 12

"Getting over the hump"

Only two teams who were 5-5 last year made it to the playoffs...

Who's 5-5 this year? Buffalo @ KC, Chicago @ STL, MN @ JAX, GB @ NO (both 5-5)

So with all of these teams away, except NO, it makes for an interesting week for playoff hopes...

If the season ended today, this is who would be in the playoffs: TEN, PIT, NYJ, DEN, MIA, NYG, CAR, CHI, ZONA, TB

In the AFC there's actually 4 teams tied @ 6-4: BAL, IND, MIAMI, NE

In my opinion, either MIA or IND have the best chance to get in. Yes, I said Miami. Don't look now boneheads, Miami has won 4 games in a row. They also have the remaining schedule: NE, @ STL, @ BUF, SF, @ KC, @ NYJ. I can almost guarantee you that they win @ STL, SF, @ KC which puts them at 9-4. You also have to agree that if they continue to play how they have, they will steal one of the other three. Only three times in the past ten seasons has a ten win team NOT made the playoffs. (Yes, the Browns were one of them last year. Don't worry, since Philly won the WS, you are now the most cursed city in sports history)

Regardless of all of the ranting above, the three or so teams that were 5-5 before this week and lose, can consider their season OVER.


"BIG Conference Implications"

NE-Miami:

This game could very well decide the AFC Wild Card winner. This is the rematch of the 38-13 destruction of NE that unveiled the almighty "Wild-Cat" offense formation. You know, the game where Ronnie Brown magically came out of his fantasy shell and ran for 133 yds, 4 TD's and passed for another. You have to believe that NE has that game box score up in the locker room. Not only did Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams embarrass them, but Joey Porter sacked Cassel four times and he looked like he had absolutely no idea what he was doing all day. Miami came into the first game looking like a three win team and came out looking like a completely different animal, let's see what comes of their second meeting.





Carolina-Atlanta: (Carolina beat Atlanta 24-9 in their 1st meeting)

When Carolina and Atlanta played earlier this year the final score was 24-9 and most probably thought Atlanta was an after thought for first place in the NFC South. At the time, they had only beaten Detroit and KC, granted by considerable margins...but still, and they had a rookie QB at the helm; not exactly a team most would choose to win the NFC South. Carolina on the other hand, had a double headed monster of a backfield with DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, a new elbow on their old QB and the best WR in the NFL...with a very solid defense.

Now we stand in a different place:

Matt Ryan turned out to be the 2008 Big Ben and is performing better than half the QB's in the league. Michael Turner panned out to be worth every penny, being a workhorse between the tackles, as well as a threat to break it on any carry. Roddy White has turned into a pro-bowl receiver (currently tied for third in yardage and TD's for receivers) and their defense is, as of late, coming up with timely big plays to keep them ahead in games.

Carolina is kind of in the same boat. Delhomme has been ho-hum, Steve Smith has been out-shined by Mushin Muhammed and their RB's have carried them to their 8-2 record. Actually, their defense has had a huge part in it too, somehow allowing only 15.5 points a game. (3rd in the NFL)

This is going to be an interesting rematch to watch, I don't think it's going to be 24-9 again.





INTERESTING GAMES TO WATCH:

1:00 PM

Philadelphia @ Baltimore:

Philadelphia's season, barring a miracle, is done. Their QB AND head coach don't know the rules in the NFL, they just tied the FREAKING Bengals, and they are in sole possession of last place of the NFC East. It's going to be interesting to see how they handle this game. Baltimore is one of THE toughest places to play in the NFL. Not because of their fans per say, as much as how their defense plays there. Don't believe me? The Ravens defense is giving up an average of ten points per contest at home this year. If that doesn't sell you, just ask the Patriots from last season...

New York Jets @ Tennessee:

I think the Jets are going to get smoked in this game. Not on the scoreboard necessarily, but on the field for sure. The Jets are going to find it a lot harder to run on this defensive line than they have every other one, and their defense is going to get killed. The only reason I'm going to watch this game is going to be because I love hearing the halftime explanations for why it isn't as close as they all predicted.

LATE GAMES

New York Giants @ Arizona:

The "we're the real deal" vs. "we can be better than 8-8" is going to be a VERY interesting game to watch. I bet the Giants didn't have this bad boy circled at the beginning of the year, eh? The ridiculously STACKED Cardinals offense goes up against a solid defense while the consistently productive Giants offense goes up against a revamped, yet still mediocre, Cardinals defense. The real battle here is going to be the Giants pass rush against Kurt Warner's fumbling habit. My guess? Justin Tuck 3 - Kurt Warner 0.

Indianapolis @ San Diego:

Ah, the game of under achiever's, well kind-of. What a difference on year makes right? San Diego is one blown call and a miraculous last second touchdown away from being 6-4, but the bottom line is they are still 4-6. Indianapolis has had a TOUGH schedule but have come on as of late and sit at a healthy 6-4. It's going to be interesting to watch this game for two reasons: A) These are both two VERY good teams B) These teams really HATE each other

I'm hoping for the following:

- Un-necessary contact with Peyton Manning, which in turn makes Marvin Harrison lose it and pull out his Glock and shoot Shaun Phillips
- A TD celebration which includes LT pulling out a Colts shirt and pretending to pee on it
- A TD celebration in which a player punts the ball into the stands (how has this not happened yet)
- A "inside scoop" half-time prep talk in which Norv Turner reveals that the rumors are true that he is dying of cancer. Then he reveals to "surprise on-field announcer" Erin Andrews that it "wasn't really true, he just heard stuff likes that sometimes works."
- That new Peyton Manning commercial where he politely turns around every aggressive comment he hears from his hotel staff.

Never mind, now I can watch it whenever I want.

Korea is taking over the world...

I just watched this video on Extra Mustard and I am truly mesmerized by this kid. He can't be older than 12, at the absolute oldest. Either way, his name is Sungha Jung and he's from South Korea...check out his profile page on you tube... http://www.youtube.com/user/jwcfree

This song is the most impressive one out of all of them. It's almost like this kid just gets bored at the beginning and starts slapping the strings of the guitar. This is only topped when he starts crossing his hands while playing and doing all sorts of insane stuff.



This is a song that this kid has already written himself...



I feel like a waste of life when I find stuff like this.

Livin' on a Prayer is money too...

NFL Week 10: Where do we stand?

Where we stand is there is some f'ed up stuff going on.


Which of the following statements would you have agreed with after the ninth week of the season?


- The Ravens would be in first place
- The Titans would be undefeated
- The Jets would be in first place
- The Miami Dolphins would be over .500
- The Jax Jaguars would be under .500
- The Chargers would be under .500 and would have lost to Carolina and Miami (and beat KC by one)

FYI That's only the AFC..I know, insane...moving on...


- the 49ers/Seahawks/Rams would be a combined 6-21
- Carolina would be 7-2
- THE FALCONS WOULD BE 6-3
- The Dallas Cowboys would be 5-4
- Every team in the NFC East would be over .500


That's a pretty intense list of stats right there and ALL of them are true. Insane to think about that right?


Current Statistical Surprises:


- Kurt Warner is second in the league in passing yards
- The Saints/Broncos/Texans are all in the top five team offenses
- The Redskins has a top five defense (lowest sack total in league last year)
- Joey Porter is leading the league in sacks


This shit is unreal. Think about the previous 15 statements and if you could have guessed five of those you should be working for ESPN. It's unbelievable what has happened this year, it's like Dumb and Dumber got remade and Sea Bass (unknowingly played by hockey superstar Cam Neely) stole the show and won an Oscar for best supporting author.


So that being said, who cares, what's going to continue to happen?


I give you the continuing/non-continuing trends of the "Oh-So-Gay" 2008-2009 NFL Season:


LEGIT:


TENNESSEE TITANS - This team is legit. The only thing that can end this string of wins is a a Kerry Collins injury or a MAJOR line injury. The Titans defense is legit. They have an intense front seven (minus Jevon Kearse) and have a surprisingly solid secondary. They can run, they are physical, they can pass when a team stops the run (Bears game), watch out New England, you will be playing them in the playoffs.


CARDINALS -Their defense is average but it doesn't matter, these guys score a bagillion points every game and you can't stop them. They realized a fatal flaw in their offense by benching Edgerrin James and Warner has been a surprising success. When's the last time you could start three receivers from the same team in fantasy and still potentially score 45 points? Answer, cardinals...Breaston, Fitz, Boldin. This team can beat anyone, anytime, anywhere.



Ravens - I know this seems crazy, but the bottom line is they have a run based offense and a solid defense. That's almost an automatic playoff bid if you stay healthy. Bad thing to say for the Steelers (who are going to make the playoffs anyways, as either a division winner or a division winner) this team can run the ball down your throat and they can knock your fullback into the backfield on any given play, not a good combination to play against.


The Lions: They Suck, two wins, tops.


Giants - I haven't seen a team be this dominant in quite sometime. They have a SOLID rush, a solid pass D, a solid run D = SOLID Defense. They have an unreal run offense, and a surprisingly stellar pass offense...watch out, DEEP playoff run coming.


NOT LEGIT:


THE JETS - COME THE F ON. The Jets defense blows. The first time they played the Pats they lost, the second time they barely beat them (granted away) and allowed Cassell to throw 3 TD passes. Brett Favre is past his prime and is capable of leading a team to the playoffs, but is not capable of leading a team past the Pats. This would be a different scenario if they didn't have mangina as their coach, but the sad thing is they do. They are not impressive on either side of the ball and they will mess this lead up, somehow.


BROOOOOOOOOOOONCOS - HA. Worst defense in the NFL. Well not legitimately, they are 29/32, but they are giving up 21 points a game and have the second worst ratio of TO per game.. Let's be honest, Mike Shanahan is an offensive genius, but he does not light the candle on the defensive side of the ball. This team can put up 40-50 points on any given night against ANY given defense, but the problem is they can do the same thing on D, against any team HOME OR AWAY. Don't plan on seeing this team in the playoffs.


THE EAGLES: I'm sorry it's just not happening this year birds fans, we have a tough conference and a knack for losing games in the last two minutes. Crazy stats for people who think I'm an idiot...last 11 games that the Eagles played which were decided by less than 7 points (0-11) last 11 prime time games the Eagles have played in, (2-9). Scary stats eh. The sad thing is, our city might have lost our coach in the last game against the Giants. 2:54 to go at your own 20 yard line, down 4, you're an Eagles fan...do you expect to score? FUCK NO. Andy Reid (if you listen to Philly radio stations) has a knack for losing games in the last two minutes. It's unreal how he unravels in the last two, it's almost like he means to.


LAST GAME: Here's a run down of how the last game ended


second down seven to go: QB Scramble 5yds.

third down two to go (2:24 to go) : D Mac is tired and calls a huddle because he feels like 24 seconds is too long to get another play in and calls a huddle..WTF ^(*&%(^&)$)(&)%&)($*)($*$#@@@@


a sweep is called to the right side and Westbrook is short by two yards


fourth and two to go (1:45 to go) right tackle run, and an embarrassing STUFF right side


ANDY REID, I HATE YOU


THINGS I'M CONFUSED BY:


COLTS: WHAT THE F Colts? I don't understand...are you old? Are you sleeping? Are you still good? Would you be better with Bob Sanders infinitely on the DL? I'm so confused, you could make the playoffs...get your shit together.


That, my friends, is all I can say about week 10...word.

Wow

It's been over two weeks since I've written anything about sports on this blog, and almost three weeks since I've written anything regarding football, I suck.

I'm ashamed of myself and will give my rundown of the NFL post week 9. (+1 NFL Network game)

I think I've internally tried not to touch the subject because I'm upset, understandably so, with my Eagles direction.

That being said, I'm going to be in Cincinnati for the Eagles game this weekend if anyone else is interested in slamming beers before the game. Hit me up if you're going to be going to the game, I'm already heading down with four or five buddies from school, so adding to the group would only mean exponential amounts of belligerent chaos. Cheers.

This Could Be....

The funniest video on the internet. Courtesy of my sister, I present "The Count Song"



I love at 1:53 where he just goes nuts. 1234 1234 woooooooooo!!!!!!

PARENTING FAIL

There's this great website everyone should consistently be checking called fail blog. ( http://failblog.org/ )

This shit is HILARIOUS. The whole premise behind the website is failure. People failing in anything. You fall down the steps, fail. You find yourself watching some cool dance moves and accidentally let your kid get kicked in the head, fail.




That one isn't hilarious, but it IS ridiculous. Here's a great example of what I'm talking about.




I'm pretty sure we've all had that moment where you wake up after an incredibly long night out and you look around and say to yourself "OH SHIT, WHERE THE F AM I?"

This guy went to a whole new level. Not only did he not know where he walked home from, but he also walked home barefoot and left his shoes at this place. A normal person would chalk that one down as a lost pair of shoes right? This buttcock goes back and puts up lost puppy signs for his sentimental pair of New Balances. People like this make me feel better about myself as a part of society.

1 more....who trained this dog? Maybe America just has really stringent schools for attack dogs.



UPDATE: HAHAHAHA I had to...this shit is priceless

A Little Up and Coming Music for Ya

I've been jamming to some hard core "Strokes-esque 80's tunes," lately and I thought I would let everyone in on a little secret...

This band (The Virgins) is coming out with their first legit CD and I think they are going to have a pretty damn successful launch. Plus they make awesome music videos.

This is the album to the right, intelligently entitled, "The Virgins"







"Private Affair" - This song is my favorite on the album and makes me look like a bobble head when I'm listening to it.



"Rich Girls" - Who doesn't love music videos with half naked chicks in it?



If you like these two songs, you'll like the whole album. The whole thing is awesome, go get it.

For those of you with itunes, this link will take you right there...I know, I'm a genius.

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=293881115&s=143441

America, FUCK YEAH!!!

America, we have elected a new leader...We are on the verge of a new country, a new direction. The election has been over since 10:30 and I'm inspired by the direction our country is now taking.

While I'm on this lame speech, let me congratulate the young population for being THE difference in this election. Georgia and Idaho were the ONLY two states to show an advantage to McCain for voters 18-24. 66% of Americans under 30 voted for Obama (it's split 50-50 from 30-65 and 65+ voted 53% in favor of McCain)

That being said, check out this website. ( http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/ ) They are spot on. It's unbelievable how accurate they were. They basically looped all of the exit polls together, ran their model 10,000 times and predicted the outcome of the election...check it out, be impressed.






This is what they predicted....













This is what happened....









Did anyone else get goosebumps more than twice during that speech?

Line of the speech: "It (the campaign) grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy. Who left their homes and their families, for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep. It drew strength from the not so young people; who braved the bitter cold and the scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers. (It grew) From the millions of Americans that volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from the earth. This is your victory.

You all realize, it's a huge possibility we will be watching this video in 30 years with our kids talking about what a monumental change this election created...Amazing



UPDATE:

I read a great article written by my friend RevHaloFan that I thought should be shared with you all. I don't like playing the race card on this election, but Rev does a great job putting this historical election in perspective. ( http://coagula.livejournal.com/2008/11/04/ )

Are you all still going to rock your Obama stuff after he takes office? I think I'm going to switch to all of the "Viva Bush" shirts I have laying in the back of my closet.

Buttcock...

No I'm not making this word up, it exists. At least Tommy Johnaquin thinks it should. I had the pleasure of going out to a comedy club this weekend and randomly having Tommy perform. He's done standup on Letterman, Comedy Central and apparently in Gotham?

Check it out, laugh, see him if you have the chance.



The following link is the Buttcock joke...sorry I couldn't link it (he disabled it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKbuVVQ0SPI

Imagine at the end of that joke if he said "I don't want it to get out that I actually have a Buttcock."

Anyone who comes up with that word is friggin awesome in my book.