Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How Can We Be Lover's?

You know when people try to re-make video's from the 80's with themselves in place and think they are funny? Well this one actually is. It's one of the best music video's I've ever seen. I don't know if it's the over the top acting by the guy who does the guitar solo or if it's just the amazing teamwork displayed throughout the video, either way it's top notch. Let me know if you know of any others that you think are more worthy of the title "Best Video Remake Ever."

Monday, September 29, 2008

THIS JUST IN...T.O. still a baby

This is about to get good. Being a Philadelphia fan, I hate T.O. (Team Obliterator as Skip Bayless calls him). He helped us get to the Super Bowl one year, and then completely ruined our team the next. He's selfish, immature and incredibly talented.

A Redskins victory against the Cowboys could have been all we needed to get the ball rolling on the unraveling of Terrel's confidence in Tony Romo.

When asked yesterday what he thought of his role in the offense (over half of the offensive snaps were an effort to get him the ball...18 passes to him and two rushes) he responded "It's not enough, I'm a competitor and I want the ball."

He continued: “Everybody recognized that I wasn’t really getting the ball in the first half. I’m pretty sure everybody watching the game recognized it, people in the stands recognized it. I think my team recognized it.”

( http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/football/cowboys/stories/092908dnspocowsider.1a303a7.html )

"Considering that Marion Barber only had 8 touches and Felix Jones had zero, who is going to be getting the ball less if T.O. needs more?" ( http://www.profootballtalk.com/category/rumor-mill/ )
I can't wait until he implodes....please god, I know we don't talk a lot...but make this happen. Not for me, but for the wonderfully arrogant city of Philadelphia. Thanks

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Buffalo Fans Are IIIIINSANE

I just ran into this because of another website I'm on all the time and might I say, shit is getting insane in Buffalo. The Bills are 3-0 and they haven't had anything to cheer for in next to a decade. Watch out America, BILLS FEVER is in effect. This was their reaction after Ryan Lindell hit a field goal as time expired to beat Oakland...yes, OAKLAND.



One other valuable Bills video:



I now love the Buffalo Bills and their fans, that was unbelievable.

Oakland in shambles

Apparently Kiffin isn't the only one a little steamed in Oakland. (He is going to be fired in the upcoming weeks by the way, it's only a matter of time.)

John Herrera, a front office executive in the Raiders organization, almost got into a physical altercation with a reporter on Monday.

Tim Kawakami, of the San Jose Mercury News, was apparently fabricating facts about who passed around an article criticizing Lane Kiffin last week and he almost got his butt kicked on Monday. (For those of you who don't know...a front office executive passed around an article to every reporter in a press conference room that blatantly bashed Lane Kiffin. Although it's been kept under raps, many believe that individual was John Herrera.)



Who in the hell would want this job in Oakland? You have no assurance to be the coach next year, your team BLOWS and Al Davis might fire you six weeks into your job. Someone needs to kill Al Davis and take over this franchise.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Alec Baldwin is THE MAN

Hello readers...sorry I didn't get the football picks up for last week. It was my sisters 21st birthday and I went out to Miami to party like a bad ass with her. Needless to say I was not focused on football.

This clip of Alec Baldwin is freaking awesome, I might see the movie just to see him in it.



Raunchy Alec Baldwin Monologue - Watch more free videos

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Problems in Stinko-Land


Ocho-Cinco has a big mouth, we all know that. But he is usually blaming the coaching staff, not his own team.

Late last night NFL.com put up an article ( http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80ae4c2a&template=with-video&confirm=true ) about the Bengals.

It's the basic "Hey what the hell is going on," trench-digging questioning that all reporters do. Well Chad bit, and might have caused a little awkward situation in the locker room.

"Before you name the receivers, before you even name the quarterback, it all starts with that offensive line," Johnson said. "It don't start with us at all. I think it starts with the offensive line. It's going to have a trickle effect. When they're playing well, Carson's going to play well, and it means us on the outside, we're going to play well. Because if it doesn't start with them, the rest of us really don't matter."

HAYSOOS CHRISTO.

He went on to say "I saw that Dallas game, that was sick. The talent [here] is equal. The big difference is Romo and McNabb will get sacked occasionally and yeah they get pressure, but they're sitting back their smoking a cigar."

Does Chad even know what he's doing when he says stuff like this? I guarantee you that Ocho-Stinko has gotten some pretty harsh words from the line this morning and I don't see this team handling it well.

Good luck getting out of the gutter Cinci, a win against the world champs would help. I don't think it is going to end up well.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

NFL Status update:

Kevin Smith losing his job?

Detroit Lions brought in Shaun Alexander and Cedric Benson, who was conveniently missing a fund raising event, for some talks early this week. Oddly enough they only worked out Shaun Alexander, not Cedric Benson.

The whole thing is just weird. The Lions are apparently bringing them in, not to sign them, but to "see what's available in case of injury."

Who's injured? If you had to ask me, I would assume there might be something wrong with Rudi Johnson and that's why he got let go from Cinci. I am completely shooting from my gut here, but it seems logical to me.

Either way, the fact that Shaun Alexander isn't on a team right now is a bit ridiculous considering he's three years removed from an unbelievably productive season in Seattle.

Are they really going to put this schmuck on their team over Shaun? It seems like all he does is go to Austin, smoke weed, drink beer and get DUI's...and then complain about being profiled...good luck Ced

Bob Sanders is out 4-6 weeks with a foot injury.

Everyone talks about how he is the leader of the Colts defense and how hard he hits...blah, blah, blah, blah.

This guy is about as reliable as glass stilts. He is injured EVERY year, for a significant amount of time. I know he's a talented bloke, but tell him to start taking HGH or something so he stops getting hurt.

Separated Shoulders?

Big Ben says he's fine via Mike Tomlin, Jason Witten is confirmed via injury report.

I don't think it's going to be a big deal for either of them. Why did I just write that then?

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Thanks dudes and dudettes...

I don't know who has taken an interest in this blog (outside of Jim Cook, my cousin and Eberly who are the only people who have commented on anything or spoke of my blog...Chandler you don't count because your post was a post in response of me making fun of you on your blog) but thanks for reading.

It's pretty money to be able to show all of you guys:

A) how bad I am at picking sports wins

B) how bad I am at betting

C) stupid you tube clips and pictures that I find amusing


I thought I was incredibly weird and was the only person who thought this stuff was interesting, apparently I was bad at predicting that too. We're averaging about 20-30 hits a day and I feel cooler than Maurice Clarett...


Thought you would all like to know, that I read this today and pissed myself, at work. I apologize to all of you right winged-fascist Republicans reading this. (If you took that seriously, hit the X in the top right of your screen)


I'll write about something pointless soon..OH WAIT - Roy Williams is out for 3-4 weeks with a broken arm...the Cowboys D just improved to only giving up 30 points a game.

Week 2 Round-up:

Wow, what a freaking week of football...

A great Oregon-Purdue game + OSU getting their A-holes whooped + One of the best MNF games ever + the VY-less Titans putting a butt-kicking on a pride-less Bengals team.


As you can probably tell from my updates on the last post, inspired my a random sighting of a USC-Song Girl buttocks shot, I made a huge USC bet to cover all of my Saturday college football bets and ended up coming out on top. Only to make two bets on the NFL to have one thrown by Hurricane god-damn Ike and it's 800 MPH winds in Cleveland and the other to New Orleans not being able to play defense.

All in all, a pretty decent week for me.

ANYWHO, what we've learned in the NFL this week:

Buffalo is LEGIT - I told you guys early in the season, this team is really, really, really good. I said "they can contend for the wild card in the AFC." Well, after a big win IN JAX, they look like a real contender. The key to this whole game was their defense. They were all over Garrard all day, and were run-blitzing the hell out of a depleted Jags line.

Jags are in trouble - 98 yards rushing...98!

This was a team last year that would bust off numerous runs of 20+ every single game, from both RB's. Their longest run of the day was 13 yards and the rushing attempts breakdown was 14-7 in favor of Taylor. I don't know what the F is going through Del Rio's head...GIVE THE BOWLING BALL THE BALL...

YOU HAVE NO RECEIVERS, stop passing the ball unless they put eight in the box and you set up play action. If you're a Jags fan, don't give me the Matt Jones story...white receivers not named Wes Welker or Ed McAffrey don't count....you need to run, you're a running team, start running.

Jay Cutler has a CANON - All I saw on Sunday were RIDICULOUS passes from Cutler. Passes that had the smallest windows I've really seen a QB try to throw into, other than Manning...the Peyton variety, not his idiot brother. It was almost like he was making pre-snap reads and throwing the ball so hard that it was impossible for CB's to make a play on the ball.

Cromartie, arguably one of the best CB's in the league couldn't make a play all day and was penalized three times because of the passes he was throwing to Marshall.

Marshall is a top five receiver - Anyone who watched this game knows that it was obvious they were throwing him the ball every time he caught it. The CB's just couldn't do anything. Cutler threw the ball up where only Marshall could get it, and he did, almost every time. His stats from Sunday... 18 catches for 166 yards and a TD. FILTHY. Welcome back Marsh.

Indy is fine - If Peyton stops trying to throw to Marvin Harrison. Yes, they almost, and should have, lost to the Vikings. Yes they are banged up on the O-Line. All that is completely fine though. Why? Peyton is back ladies and gents. Peyton put together a monster 4th quarter drive to lead his team to victory and oh my did he look good. There were NO signs of injury, his head was on his shoulders, he looks like the Peyton of old...welcome back.


Brett Who? - Alright, I know that the Packers played the Lions. My god they suck by the way. The bottom line is, his passes were crisp and right on the money ALL DAY. They fell asleep in the beginning of the second half and almost let D-troit back in it, but then they woke up and ran away with it. The Packers are winning the NFC North...called it three weeks ago.

Washington finally figured out its' offense - This team is going to be dangerous from here on out. about half way through the third quarter on Sunday, it clicked...to the tune of 20 points. Campbell started hitting short routes, Portis was hitting holes hard and when the D came up to stop him, Campbell threw it over their heads...twice. This team could have just been determined to win the game at home...but I think otherwise. Watch out for this team.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Week 2: NFL picks

I always take the first week off for NFL picks. It's really tough to get a feel for what a team is going to look like in the pre-season and the first week is usually when the most players get banged up. Therefore, I'm giving you my very quick, very succinct game by game run down of which team is going to win. I'm also going to cue in on a few fantasy players because that's really the only thing I care about.

Tennessee @ Cinci -

Cinci's defense isn't good and the Titans offense is WAY better off with out Emo King at the helm. Cinci gave up 230 yards to a backup running back and a converted fullback, which means only one thing...lots of spousal abuse in Cinci after the Bungals lose

Titans Win

Fantasy Impact Player - CHRIS JOHNSON - Look for this kid two rack up 20 fantasy points this week. I'm thinking 10 yards and a TD...he's a baller and he's a threat veery time he touches the ball.

Detroit vs Green Bay

Green Bay and Aaron Rodgers looked legit, against one of the best defenses in the NFL to boot. Look for Green Bay to take a big stinky poo on Detroit's week defense.

Green Bay Win

Fantasy Impact -Aaron Rodgers - Look for him to have a huge game: 250 yards and three TD's. The only thing that would stop this is a huge lead and a turn to the running game to lock out the clock.

Oakland @ Kansas City

Kansas City is bad, Oakland is worse. Oakland gave up 450 yards on D last week and LJ is going to rack up a ton of yards on this VERY weak team against the run...and the pass.

KC Wins

Fantasy Impact - LJ - Big game this week. I'd say over a hundred and a TD, which isn't always a guarantee with him.

NYG @ STL

This isn't so much that the Giants are good, as much as STL SUCKS. This game is going to be a lot closer than people think. STL got flat our embarassed by the Birds last week and their offense will be itching to get back to normal. Their defense on the other hand will be horrible as usual, if you feel like betting, bet on Giants scoring over 30 points.

GIANTS WIN

Indy @ Minnesota

Minnesota was supposed to have one of the better defenses in the NFL last week, didn't seem like it. Indy was supposed to have one of the best offenses in the NFL and they got embarassed by the Bears. This makes for an interesting match up in week 2.

INDY WINS

Fantasy impact - Reggie Wayne - I think it's VERY feasible for him to have 150 yards and 2 TD's. Harrisson is a sleeper too...

NO @ Wash

Washington is going to be in a funk for the first couple of week with the new West Coa.st offense being installed and Jason Campbell should not perform particularly well. Portis should have about 15 points this week, but NO should win this game.

NO WINS

Fantasy Impact - Jason Campbell - Tops 20 points this week, I think it will be under 15.

Chicago @ Carolina

Carolina looked incredibly solid last week, offensive line looked good...WR looked good despite Smith not being in the lineup, more importantly their running attack looked potenet with the one two punch of Deangelo and Stewart.

Chicago's defense looked stellar and their offense looked good enough to win against Indy last week.

Chicago Wins

Fantasy Impact - Desmond Clark - Look for a big day from Desmond Clark. Matt Forte is going to see more men in the box than Jenna Jameson and the TE dump play is going to be open all day. He's going to get a ton of looks and could easily rack up 75 yards and a TD.

Buffalo @ JAX

This game is a 50/50 battle and I'm giving the home team advantage to JAX. The Jags lost 3 of their top 5 guards before week two and it's going to be interesting to see how they respond. Buffalo finally gets Jason Peters back and could see a big boost in the running game.

Game is very close, JAX by 3.

JAX WINS

SF @ Seattle

SF had a horrible game against Zona and Seattle had a horrible game against Buffalo. Sad thing is, Hasselbeck has no one to throw to with Burleson, Branch and Engram out for the first four weeks and Maurice Morris is out as well. As bad as I know that Julius Jones sucks, Seattle won't lost this game at home.

SEATTLE WINS

ATL @ TB

There is a big cloud of doubt over the QB situation in TB right now. Gruden announced that Griese is going to be the starter on Wednesday (when he easily could have waited until Sunday), and there's news of TB trying to shop Garcia in a trade offer.

Evidence: http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/09/12/gruden-says-bucs-arent-shopping-garcia-sort-of/

I think the Bucs are going to enter this game with a big question about the QB situation and the Falcons are going to enter it with a completely different one. Michael Turner won't run for 220 yards, but he will top a hundred and nail a TD.
The Falcon's game plan is going to be as obvious as Sandy Lyle's testosterone level in a eleavator full of strangers.

(1:28 in)



ATL WINS

SD @ Denver

Denver is going to win. Marshall back, Royal is going to prove himself, game in Denver....seems like a big win in D town. This is my lock of the week and I don't need to explain it further.

DENVER WINS

NE @ Jets

This whole Brady thing is ridiculous. YES, he is the best QB in football. No, Cassel hasn't started a game since high school. YES, the team is different since Cassel is the leader. NO the outcome isn't going to change.

The bottom line is that Brett Favre looked mediocre against a SHITTY Miami defense and Cassel looked the same against a comparable D. Cassel has gottena bag full of shit slung in his face by every single announcer from her to Bangkok about being horrible. This = a big time performance from Cassel.

NE WINS

Miami @ 'Zona

Zona, Miami sucks.

ZONA WINS

Pissburgh @ Cleveland

Pissburgh is 7-1 in its' last 8 games against Cleveland. Cleveland is under a TON of pressure considering its' first week performance and its' performance last year. Pissburgh on the other hand beat the shit out of an over-hyped Texans team last week.
I feel as good about this pick as I do about finding a very large Jalapeno in my nachos...This means only one thing, spousal abuse in Cleveland.

PISS WINS

Philly @ Dallas

Game of the week, no question. Dallas looked very impressive against Cleveland and Dallas looked RIDICULOUS against STL. Both of the losing teams in the previous sentence suck though, so it doesn't mean all too much.

I think it's going to be really tough for Philly to go into Dalls and walk out with a victory. On the other hand, they might be the only team that could actually pull it off. Philly is 3-1 in their last four visits to Dallas and I really think that they have the personell to do it again.

I'm legitimately going to flip a coin right now to decide this choice...heads Philly, tails Cowboys.

PHILLY WINS


B'more @ Houston

Game isn't happening...Hurricane IKE took a big poo on Houston's stadium and it's in shambles.

Hopefully, the end of the VY saga.

I think I was the only person thinking it when it first happened, but it is now official...I'm a psychic.


Vince Young was suicidal on Monday night. I said it back on Tuesday, this dude is a nut job, and as I said before, "wouldn't surprise me if he was suicidal."

Apparently he has been seeing a therapist on the Titans team and the reason the cops were called out is that Jeff Fisher told them that his "therapist told him that Vince had mentioned suicide numerous times."

On top of all of this nonsense, the head of security at the Titans field Steve Burke said "he had a player of the team at the stadium going off...brandishing a weapon."

This story is so much bigger than ESPN is making it. Vince Young was pissed at the fans and his coach, drove to his stadium...with no one in it, and starting cursing at the sky and flailing around his Glock.

What the hell is going on with this guy. How can you be a leader of a team if you can't even control your own emotions, let alone keep your shirt on in a club.
If you ask me how it should be handled...he would make a great WR...on another team.

2008 Betting Ensures

So last year, about half way through the year I stopped betting on anything because I had lost the 100 dollars I put into Bodog ( http://www.bodoglife.com/ ) and felt like a first grader trying to tell you guys who to bet on.

This year I'm taking a different approach. I'm just going to tell you who I'm betting on and you can either join me in the misery, or feel better about yourself because of all of the money. I'll keep you posted with a small table on the left side of the blog with my overall record and what I've actually bet on.

Many of you are probably wondering why I'm betting when I know I'm going to lose. The short answer is that I need something to make Saturdays fun. Being a Michigan fan, if we win half of our games I'm going to be happy so I need something to fill up the rest of the day.

I also think it's ridiculously easy to bet on baseball. All you do is bet on the Angels to win and the under and you win 75% of the time. So I'm going to make up all of the dumb bets I make on college football and the NFL. If you don't understand what I'm talking about on the bets, just comment and I'll fill you in.

College Football bets:

Cal (-9) over Maryland + Oregon (-2) over Purdue

This Cal team is incredibly talented, with a solid QB in Kevin Riley and a unbelievable NFL talent (avg. 8.2 yards per carry after two games) in Jahvid Best, this team is my pick for the second best in the Pac 10. On top of that, Maryland has been mediocre in their first two games this season...a 7 point win over Delaware and a LOSS to Middle Tennessee State.



Oregon has been EXPLOSIVE so far this season averaging 55 points in its first two games. The team looks like they still have Dennis Dixon and Jonathan Stewart in the backfield. They've been flying all over the field and looked poised to have a big season out West.

MICHIGAN (+4.5) vs. Notre Dame + Over 30 points scored

This game us just a hunch. I think Michigan's offense is going to make strides and actually put some points on the board this week. I'm also hoping Notre Dame is pumped up from Lou Holtz' lame pep rally speech and they put 14 on Michigan's defense.

This isn't for this game...but it's still funny listening to his lisp




UPDATE: I've been watching the Cal game for the first quarter and Maryland is up 14-0 early. I apparently underestimated the fact that it's 9AM at Berkley and these guys are still sleeping. Look for them to wake up in the second half.

UPDATE - I was right about Cal waking up in the second half, but not by enough...a big fat loss on the first bet.

I also made a poor decision by betting on Michigan pulling out a win in South Bend...

Luckily I've found out why I'm making losing bets...

1) I need to stop making bets when I'm drunk

2) I need to respect home field advantage more

GOOD THING, I made a make up bet of USC (-12.5) vs. OSU for 50 bucks. This bet is going to make up for the entire day of stupidity...I'll update later if needed

Post Script - I'm hammered right now but even that won't mess up this last bet as their fullback just caught a TD after running by a CB... GO USC!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Best picture on internet...


How embarassed are you that you aren't friends with this guy to the right?
...no, the one with his balls in his pants...

I LOVE EMO!

I know you all love Emo aka "Vince Young" lovers have been checking out the site, but I honestly just came for A) praise that I will never receive and B) AN UPDATE...

A) You know you forwarded on this website to all of your friends when you read the post that Vince Young was a crazy ass...but you have yet to realize how awesome it is to break a story before ESPN...

It basically feels like blaring a porno from your Escalade truck with the windows down...I FEEL LIKE A WINNER BOBBY!

B) Vince Young's mom is upset and my god is she a vocal woman, following quotes were included:

- " Pray for my baby boy"

- "What would you think, if you were tired of being ridiculed and persecuted."

- "Talked about (by fans) and not being treated very well,"

- "what would you do?

- "What kind of decision would you make?"

- "He may not want to deal with it ..."

- "we're not talking about football right now. We're talking about what would make him happy"

Sounds like some pretty intense quotes from his mom, who I'm assuming is pretty close with VY considering she "cleansed him" during troubled times before.

I feel really good about my judgement of where Vince Young's head is right now...

He will either come back and be Johnny bad ass (like he did when Mack Brown questioned his dedication and benched him for a half) and never lose another game...like he did in college...

OR he will NEVER start again. Which would put him in the branch of the worst bust in NFL history...

Interesting stuff...ok, I have a beautiful girl on my arm right now and I really need to go.....just thought you would like to know my dedication to this blog...

Have a great night Colston owners...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

EMO WATCH - VINCE YOUNG


Yesterday I wrote about how Vince Young is a loser and has no back bone. Apparently it got to him because he was an emotional wreck last night.

According to reports (via WKRN news in Nashville), Vince left his house around 7:30 last night and left his phone at his apartment because he wanted to be alone. Which in turn pushed Jeff Fischer out on a wild goose around Nashville trying to find his young QB.

The whole thing wrapped up after a 12:30 AM meeting at the stadium between Fischer and Young. Fischer described the whole thing as a
"misunderstanding" and said Vince was fine.

There is some SHADY stuff going on in Tennessee following the Titans fans booing him after his second interception of the day.

I almost question whether Vince Young's injury is even legit. Maybe the Titans are giving him 2-4 weeks off for mental health rather than physical health. This kid is so emotional, I wouldn't be surprised if this whole story is really a suicide attempt being covered up.

It also makes you wonder if his career as we know it is basically over. Who knows if this guy is going to have the desire to play again.

I'll keep you updated...on the status of Vince Young being an emotional, unstable loser.

The Pile Up: Big Injuries from Week One

The first week is always the most painful, every football player knows that. It's the first time you take a full speed hit, the first time you get those deep bone bruises that just won't go away for months at a time. It's part of football and everyone knows it.

However, this first week was particularly bad for a few teams...here's a run down of the big ones and the impact they are going to have on the teams:

Tom Brady - Out for Season with Left ACL Tear. Even though Brady is the best QB in the league, I think the Pats can still make the playoffs. Are they going to win the division? No. They are however a viable wild card team, barring a Randy Moss injury...then they would be screwed.

Nate Burleson - Out for Season with Right ACL Tear. Burleson is not a top ten receiver, that's pretty obvious, he was however incredibly important to this Seattle team. They now have their top three receivers all out until at least week 4 (Deion Branch and Bobby Engram are both out with leg injuries). Who are they going to turn to? Why, Courtney Taylor and Logan Pane of course! Oh yeah, and Maurice Morris is out for two weeks and Julius Jones is going to have to handle the load all by himself. It's exactly what he wanted, probably not what Seattle wanted.

Shawne Merriman - Trying to be a bad-ass with two knee tendon tears. No he didn't injure anything further, but the dude could only last two plays before he went to the locker room and called it a day. JUST GET SURGERY, YOU NUT JOB! Who in the hell thinks they can play against NFL caliber athletes with one good knee? Stop injecting the steroids into your head...it's affecting your decision making skills. Lock it up and call it a year, you're too talented and too young to risk your career over being Johnny Bad-Ass.

Vince Manuwai and Maurice Williams - ACL Tear and Right Bicep Tear. Who are these guys? They were the former starting left and right guard for the Jacksonville Jaguars until this past week knocked them out. This is a HUGE loss for such a run-heavy team. Maybe this is why the Jags could only muster 33 rushing yards on the Titans last week. I mean they were playing against a defense who's best player (Albert Haynesworth) admitted to not playing in the game at all due to a concussion. ( http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080907/SPORTS01/80907011/1027 ) This could have huge implications on Jones-Drew and Taylor all season long. Or they could just handle business as usual...who knows.

Willis McGahee - Still recovering from surgery on this knee...



I love showing that because it's the worst knee injury I've ever seen and it happened to OSU. Folks, I said this a couple of weeks ago...be wary of McGahee's knee injury, it's probably worse than advertised. Anytime you have surgery on a knee that the above video happened to, it's going to take longer than expected to return.

I know everyone is saying he is probable for next week...B.S. I say he's lost a step, he's not as strong, and he could get injured again, very easily. Ray Rice, here we come.

Marion Barber - Marion left the Cleveland game in the third quarter (I think) after a nasty shot to the ribs but will apparently be ok. How do we know? "Because Barbarian's don't get hurt," thanks Deon Anderson.

Hopefully this doesn't keep up...

Monday, September 8, 2008

Vince Young is a loser

It was kind of hard to believe but Vince Young looked like he quit on his team yesterday. After "tweaking his hamstring" on the same play he just happened to throw his second interception of the day, he walked over to the sideline and slammed his butt on the bench.

Fischer had no idea, but he didn't feel like going back in...

After the defense held JAX to a three and out, the team went on to the field and into the huddle without a QB. Fischer "bee-lined it" over to Young and seemed to have a little bit of an argument with him on the sideline and "basically threw him onto the field."

( http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080907/COLUMNIST0202/80907012/1027 )

Four plays later he partially tore his MCL on a bootleg and is out 2-4 weeks.

This is an incredibly interesting story considering the man almost retired after his 2006 Rookie of the Year campaign. ( http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080907/COLUMNIST0202/80907012/1027 )

He has some serious issues if the fans booing him after he throws an interception get under his skin to the point that he's going to give up. Grow the F up. You think it's bad in Tennessee? Come up to Philly and I'll show you how to make someone feel unappreciated.

We throw batteries at you on flashlight night ( http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/news/1999/08/10/cardinals_phillies_ap/ )

We throw snowballs at Santa
( http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/eagles/2003-11-27-santa-snowballs_x.htm )

We boo the shit out of the best thing that's ever happened to our franchise.



We welcome back a player who took us to the Super Bowl with "O.D." chants after a near death experience



If you're going to pussy-foot it around like your mom yelled at you after you throw an interception, maybe you should retire...you freaking 12 year old.

You're an unbelievably talented athlete (not a talented QB) who despite throwing twice as many interceptions as touchdowns last year...STILL led his team to the playoffs. How you did that is beyond me, but it says something about your desire to win.

Pick your head up, be a role model and get the F on the field.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Brady is out for the season ACL

Per a personal source...aka a very public source since I have no clout

http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/09/07/report-brady-out-for-the-year/

UPDATE: NFL.com reports Brady out for the season... http://blogs.nfl.com/category/news/

TOM BRADY IS OUT FOR THE SEASON with a torn left ACL tendon.

It happened on a 30 yard completion to Randy Moss...here's an incredibly lame slide show to let you know how it happened



This has HUGE implications, not only in the AFC East, but in fantasy sports fans everywhere.

To all of the people who drafted Randy Moss or Tom Brady in the first round: HAHA
Cardinal rule number one in my fantasy perspective - "Don't take anyone who has any injury concern in the first or second round...whether it be Tom Brady or LT...it's just not worth it."

Have fun with Sam Cassel, Brady owners

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Last One...Going to make it quick

I obviously need to get these done before the first Sunday of the season, but I truthfully don't feel like getting into a lot of detail, so here's the rundown.

No way that anyone is winning this division other than the New Orleans Saints. They are just too talented on offense. It should be fun to see how the acquisition of Jeremy Shockey effects the flow of their offense. If you ask me, Reggie Bush is going to be the biggest benefactor.

Bush has been somewhat of a disappointment in his short NFL career, averaging about 1,000 total yards and 7 TD's a year, pretty mediocre. A big reason for this is because defenses change their game plans to cater to the swing pass and the dumps he gets from Brees all the time. Well that all just changed. Shockey is going to force linebackers out of the shallow zone coverages, force safeties to be more wary of the middle which will simultaneously force the corner backs to focus on deep balls more as there help over the top is going to be busy jamming Shockey. All of these combined means that Bush is going to get another couple of yards to play with on all of those swing routes and dumps. Watch out for a much more productive season from Reggie...maybe he can buy Kim Kardashian a new set of heels with his bonus money he'll be making.

On top of that the Saints defense could not be much worse than last year.


Carolina Panthers - This is my surprise team of the season. There's talk that Jake's arm is better now than it was last year. They have one of the best one-two tandems in the league with Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams. Oh yeah, did I mention Mike Tyson is playing receiver for them?

Even though Steve Smith is out for the first couple of games, I think they can legitimately win 10 games. Their defense is very solid with Chris Gamble, Julian Peppers and a budding star in Jon Beason and I think, if they stay healthy, they can be a scary team to play. Watch out for the Teal and Black!


Tampa Bay Bucs - I'm so happy I'm not a Bucs fan. How painful would it be to year in and year out no your team is good enough to make the playoffs, but not good enough to win it all. Lame. Their defense is getting very old but is still very talented, their offense is much in the same. Expect an unimpressive under .500 season.

Atlanta Falcons - You have a rookie starting a quarterback, a decent defense and an explosive running back tandem. Who knows, this team could possibly win 8 or nine games, which means they could definitely top Tampa to not finish last depending on Matt Ryan.

I'll do playoff stuff later...I'm so pumped for tomorrow I don't know if I'll be able to sleep.

Solid Defenses and Shitty Quarterbacks...the NFC North

Jon Kitna, haha Kyle Orton, Tavaris Jackson and the unproven Aaron Rodgers...which one would you pick to lead your team to the super bowl? Hopefully you would represent yourself.

Although all of these teams have semi-crappy quarterbacks, they all have phenomenal defenses. Yes, I said Detroit has a phenomenal defense. At least talent wise they do, they have a minor problem keeping points off of the board.

Regardless of this gibber-jabber here's your NFC North:

Green Bay Packers -

This is a Ben Roethlisberger set-up...great defense, great running back, great receivers. Aaron Rodgers can legitimately complete 50 % of his passes and this team would still hit .500, they're that good.

The key for this team is, surprising to most, the health and performance of Ryan Grant. This guy was a huge surprise last year, enjoying on average, 100 yds and a TD per game. He's a shifty yet powerful running back who came up after a lackluster first half of the season by Deshaun Wynn. Watch out for him, if healthy (how do you like that handcuff) to have a really solid season.

The bottom line is that the O-Line is very solid, Nick Barnett, AJ Hawk, Al Harris and Charles Woodson lock up a VERY talented defense and they are going to walk into a ten win season.

Minnesota Vikings -

Yeah, everyone is choosing Minnesota to win the division, rock through the playoffs and possibly go to the Super Bowl. Screw them. HOW are you expecting a team with a leader by the name of Tavaris Jackson to take a team to the super bowl? Great question Greg...

I seem to recognize a similar plot a few years ago with a young, first year quarterback by the name of Marlon Briscoe...that didn't turn out well.

Minnesota's defense is arguably the best defense in the league, with a FILTHY D-Line and a pretty solid linebackers and turnover happy corner backs.

Adrian Peterson (aka Purple Jesus, All-Day, over-hyped fantasy RB) is the man. What else do I need to say about a man who TWICE ran for 225 yards or more and three TD's. Get out of here...that's insane once, but twice? I might be the only person who thinks Peterson might top his performance last year in terms of yards and TDs. Why you ask? Mainly because of the upcoming clip...the man runs like his life is on the line.




I have to get out of here because there's a hurricane coming up the coast and I have to drive to my parents house so I'm going to make this quick...

Chicago Bears -

The team is much better off with Kyle Orton, their defense is still top notch. I see them anywhere from 10 wins to 6 wins...very possible that Detroit passes them for third. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Detroit Lions -

Jon Kitna is on pace to break in to the top ten ALL-TIME quarterbacks in passing yardage, thanks Mike Martz, you ruined our record books. Kitna still sucks, but he has a decent team around him: Calvin Johnson, Roy Williams, Kevin Smith, Rudi Johnson (yes he will have an impact)...sounds like a good group of skill players.

Look for Calvin Johnson to get hurt again and piss and moan himself to a similar season to last year.

Friday, September 5, 2008

What's so funny Republicans?

Steven Colbert did a hilarious / powerful sketch against the Republicans last night on his show. He did a great job basically making Rudi Giuliani look like the biggest asshole in the state of Minnesota. (Who as we all know is basically in office because he happened to be the Mayor of New York during 9/11...)

Just watch, it happens at 1:30



Let me get on my high horse for thirty seconds...

Obviously Colbert spins it in a way that makes it humorous to us all, but this has got to be one of the more embarrassing things I have ever seen at a convention.

Rudi basically mocked the American Dream. Laughing in the face of people who actually make a difference in communities. People who work in the tough areas, meet the people who need the most help and give them their hand to help them up.

I'm not telling you how to vote.

All I'm saying is, that was embarrassing; both to Rudi and the Republican Party as a whole.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

On with the the NFC....East SIIIIIIIIDE

I really just didn't want to start this because it's going to take longer to do all of these divisions. Each of them are so much harder to distinguish than the AFC. Almost every division is up for grabs, no joke. With that being said, let's start with the most potent division...the NFC East

Dallas Cowboys -

I better get mad credit for being legit and saying that pound for pound the Cowboys have a more talented team than the Eagles. Being from Philly, that's going to get me a nice Rita's water ice to the dome, but hey, we have to be fair.

The fact is, the Cowboys are STACKED offensively. Barring some major turn of events, the Cowboys could easily average over 30 points a game. Yes, their defense, although sketchy, can hold off that many points from opponents.

That being said, possible setbacks:

- T.O. gets hurt...the backup WR's are a JOKE. Well they're all a joke besides Patrick Crayton, who is a bonafide #2 in my book (which is probably more generous than most). Even if they weren't a joke, they are all, I repeat ALL, injured.

Sam Hurd, Miles Austin and Isaiah Stanback all haven't practiced in over a month from numerous separate instances. Which is half the reason I was SHOCKED that the Cowboys didn't wet the bed when Ashley Lelie was released, let alone any other WR's with half a down of experience.


- A Carrie Underwood vs. Jessica Simpson cat fight emerges and pushes Romo's mind away from football and towards thinking twice about his sexuality. In which case, this shirt I frequently rock while playing beer pong (picture above to the right) before baseball games will be nearly four times as funny...


- T.O. starts crying at every press conference over the media attacking his recently sexually confused quarterback, decides he's done with football and marries Dennis Rodman in California.
Obviously this is a little ridiculous, but being an Eagles fan, and a former fan of T.O. it's completely feasible. (That picture to the right is my first shot at Adobe Photoshop, I think a whole world of hilarity has just opened up)

T.O. is borderline insane and he's the essence of emotional instability. For god sakes he tried to commit suicide (apparently) on pills no more than a year ago, he cries at press conferences and is vocal about anything that is going through his mind. Dallas should feel privaleged that this nut job hasn't shit the bed in Dallas yet. I'd be amazed if something awkward through their team being in the spotlight so much doesn't distract the team and give this division to the Eagles.

- Emmitt Smith or Michael Irvin visit the team and give a speech to pump up the Cowboys. Emmitt Smith might be one fo the worst public speakers in the history of...um....public speaking. Can you imagine how your team would perform if they heard this gibberish before a game?




The only reason that Michael Irvin's speech would throw the team for a loop is that it would revolve around a kilo of white powder. Other than that, I find him inspiring.

Philadelphia Eagles -

Ahh my birds, such a disappointment every year. It's like freakin' clockwork: Eagles start off hot, McNabb gets hurt, backup QB takes us to a wild card birth, we lose in the first round - or - Start off hot, win division, make it to NFC championship, we lose - or - we win, and then lose to the Pats.

Regardless of history, you have to admit this team looks good. Brian Westbrook is arguably the best running back in the NFL, McNabb is a top five QB when he is healthy (no one can argue that) and the Eagles defense is improved over last year (Lito Sheppard is a back up DB, ridiculous).

The only main weakness of this team is WR. It has been for five years and it will be again this year. Our #1 WR Kevin Curtis had hernia surgery (a #2 or #3 on any other team) and could be out for up to four weeks. Reggie Brown has a touchy hamstring, so who knows what his deal is. The major bright spot, and possibly big fantasy pick up, has been Desean Jackson. He's an automatic HR threat from the return spot, Andy Reid is smitten with him like a warm apple fritter and he's apparently ready to be a big time threat. In case you haven't seen him in the preseason, here are some clips. HE'S LIKE SPIT ON A GRIDDLE BABY!



New York G-Men -

How about this respect for the defending Super Bowl Champions? Win it all one year, and picked third in their division the next year by the NFL Nostradaumus himself, Mr. Greg Iversen.

How can I possibly pick them to be third. Hmmmm, let's see...they lost 23 sacks from last year, they're playing in a conference where every team has made major upgrades on defense (Jason Taylor, Pacman, Asante Samuel), and they lost Shockey. That, my friend is why they are going to be in third. Plus, they just hit the playoffs on a hot streak and rode it out to a championship.

Eli Manning is going to be there big winner this year. I see him improving a lot over last year, and could possibly make a jump to the top ten QB threshold at season's end.

Washington Redskins -

Ah, those pesky Redskins. They always steal a few from everyone in the division, but they are never good enough to steal more than that. Their whole season pretty much rides on the healthy/unhealthy shoulders of their running back. Portis plays well, they win, Portis plays bad, they lose. It's really that simple

Key Player: Clinton Portis

aka Dolemite Jenkins:


aka Choo Choo




aka Jerome from Southeast DC, Dr. "I Don't Know", aka get the hell off



Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My Thoughts On This Weekend...

God bless football season. Is it just me or is September the best month of the year? You are still on the high from Labor Day Weekend, college football season starts that weekend, NFL the next, last month of baseball, leaves are going to start changing, weather is beautiful...gotta love it baby!

So, now that the sappy love story introduction is over, let's get down to business.

First order: Funny things that happened this week...

ACC is Embarrassed



Why is this funny, you may be asking yourself. Watch it again, he almost lands on the team and basically takes out the coaches in the middle of the field.

That's because the ACC apparently can't tell the difference between Tar Heel Blue and Duke Blue. This parachute guy was supposed to deliver the game ball to the North Carolina game but apparently couldn't tell the difference on his way down and arrived at the wrong stadium. This obviously affected the Tar Heels as they had to pull off a 4th quarter comeback to beat McNeese State.

The ACC however is not embarrassed because it's 81st Airborne division landed in Italy instead of France. They had an incredibly unimpressive week. Their 7-4 week is deceiving, the wins include: a seven point win by Maryland over Delaware (who just lost their, now starting in the NFL, QB), a 52-7 victory over Charleston Southern, the above 8 pt. victory over McNeese St. at home and a Boston College team putting together a lackluster 21-0 win over Kent St.

Meanwhile, their three powerhouses all got the snot kicked out of them. Clemson lost 34-10 to Alabama, Virginia got DESTROYED by USC 52-7 (it seemed much worse than the score), and Virginia Tech lost to Eastern Carolina (who just lost it's #1 RB to the Titans). Wow, they better hope they turn this ship around.

Nick Saban Loves Being Back in the NCAA




Saban looks like an a**hole in this clip, but he jokes with them in the end and ends up coming off as a serious coach. I love his attitude, but his team is lacking in the talent pool. look for this team to be just over .500 down there in the SEC. Which also speaks volumes about the ACC...and how much it sucks.

Big Ten Impressive, Lose Best Player

7-3 is comparable to the ACC's record, yes. But the teams they were playing, completely different. The three losses were all to good teams: Michigan (in their first year of the new offense) let the game go in the second half and lost to an underrated Utah team, Michigan St. lost on an 81-yd TD scamper in the last minutes to lose to Cal, and Illinois looked REALLY good against a team that is expected to win the Big 12 in Missouri. Meanwhile, the other teams beat the snot out of their warm up teams by a combined 285 -80.




Damn right you felt a pop. You took one step and couldn't even put weight on it. This is WAY more serious than people think, I think he's going to be out for five to six weeks at least. If this kid comes back for the USC game he is A) going to be on a TON of cortisone and B) the biggest bad-ass east of the Mississippi. This is not good for the Buckeyes, they are still one of the better teams in the country...but this hurts, a lot.

UCLA Looks Impressive

This team beat a legit title contender with a QB who threw 4 int's...IN THE FIRST HALF. WHAT THE F*&^! Either everyone in America considerably over-rated Tennessee (which I doubt) or UCLA's defense is unreal. UT blew it to be honest. They couldn't get any sort of passing rhythm going and UCLA stacked the box to slow their running attack.

Things going against UCLA:

Craft's first game
Craft's 4 int's in the first half
Norm Chow's first game as Offensive coordinator
1st string TE injured in first quarter, out for game
1st string running back injured in 1st quarter, out first half

Somehow they pulled it off in the Rose Bowl...well done UCLA. It's a good start to the season, let's see how you do the rest of the way.
Only running for 29 yards the ENTIRE game