THIS JUST IN! WORK/STUDYING OVER-RATED, READING USELSS RAMBLING UNDER-RATED

I'm sure everyone is completely swamped with either: finals week, close of year bullshit work stuff, laying on their couch...so I figured I would take a break from doing work up in -10 degree Minneapolis and give YOU something to read. Which, for you, means obvious disappointment because you will soon realize you just wasted fifteen minutes of your life reading useless stuff.

Be that as it may, there's a TON of stuff currently going on in sports including one of the most confusing NFL playoff pictures I've ever tried to comprehend in recent memory. This is going to be a long post since I've been off the site for a bit, so look for the huge text to tell you what I'm writing about.

Let's start off with baseball's winter meeting outcomes/rumors

MLB SIGNINGS

Signed players:

C.C. Sabathia - New York Yankees
Jeremy Affeldt - San Francisco Giants
Casey Blake - L.A. Dodgers
Ryan Dempster - Chi-town Cubbies
Edgar Renteria - San Francisco Giants
Francisco Rodriguez - New York Mets
J.J. Putz - New York Mets

Out of that whole bunch four moves improved the clubs significantly, two have upside and one doesn't make ANY sense to me.

SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT -

C.C. "The Hamburglar" (see previous post) Sabathia obviously improves the Yankees, he's an Ace, most of the time.

Side Note: WHAT THE F*&% kind of contract is that for a pitcher? This kind of stuff just doesn't happen unless you're the Yankees (The Hamburglar smuggled out a quarter-pounder by getting a three year opt out clause. This means if he doesn't like NY in three years, he can give Cashman the finger and go out west)

Regardless of his contract, the Yankees now have their #1 guy in pinstripes and the beginning of a SOLID rotation that could very well include A.J. Burnett (what's with the lame first, middle name letter thing? Do you think C.C. stands for Consuming Chocolate?) and be followed by Chien-Ming Wang and Joba Chamberlain. If things stand how they are right now, I think it would be tough to pick the Yankees as first, BUT they're certainly getting closer.

You all probably thought I was going to say Edgar Renteria was a lock to help the Giants. You all would be wrong. One of the bigger signings is onw no one is talking about, that of Jeremy Affeldt. I wrote a post on this a few months ago, the eighth inning is THE MOST IMPORTANT inning in baseball, hands down. If you look at every major contender, they all have shut down guys to get them from the starter to the closer. Now the Giants have theirs. NO, they are not going to be contenders, but at least every time Tim Lincecum pitches they will win, if they score a run. That's worth every penny in my opinion. Attention fantasy baseball players, Brian Wilson's (CL) stock just went WAY UP.

K-Rod and J.J. Putz (another freaking double-letter name) obviously need to make this list. The Mets have two former closers, who are now going to be the 8th & 9th inning shut down crew for the Mets next few years. I think the Mets just buried a HUGE problem with their team last year and will be a MUCH better team because of it. The good thing about signing both of these guys is that I don't think K-Rod is going to have a completely healthy season. If you look at what Bobby Thigpen's post-record setting season looked like...it wasn't pretty. K-Rod is a lot younger and seems like he is in a lot better position to perform well, but still, kind of ominous cloud hanging over his head. As a former Halo, I wish him the best.

UPSIDE -

Edgar Renteria is old. He had his worst hitting season (.270) in his career and his second worst OPS of his career (.840) in 2008 and just got rewarded with a 2 years 19 million dollar contract. Wait WHAT! Screw this, he's going down to the next category.

The Cubs made their only pre-Tribune bankruptcy move very early to re-sign Ryan Dempster to a 4 year/$52 MM contract. Interesting move considering it was his first full season in a starting rotation since 2002. Dempster pitched 206 innings last season, want to know what happened the last time he pitched over 200 innings? He only pitched a 115, his ERA rose by a point and his strikeout/walk ratio was 1:1, compared to last season 2.2:1. BUT IT'S OK! He's apparently figured it all out after doing that stupid glove flick thing before he throws every ball. You have to admit, he does have huge upside. If he pitches 3/4 as good as he did last year, he's a SOLID number 2.

He also does a terrific Harry Carray impression.



WHY? WHY DO YOU MAKE THESE STUPID MOVES?

Dear Edgar Renteria,

You're old, you had your worst statistical year of your career last year, yet you got rewarded with a $19 MM dollar contract. We could have been smart and gotten Rafael Furcal, who is four years younger and has some good baseball left in him, but we felt like you fit our team better. Good luck filling in for the Bay Area loved Omar Vizquel.

Sincerely Stupid,

Giants Management

The Dodgers have a REALLY good young core of players: James Loney, Russell Martin, Chad Kershaw, Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, Blake Dewitt, Chad Billingsley.

One of their key story lines last year was how this kid Blake Dewitt would do filling in. Reason being is they had this young stud coming up by the name of Andy LaRoche. He had a pretty serious injury in the beginning of the season so they had to call up this random 3B from AA ball to fill in. He ended up hitting .270, driving in 54 runs, having an OPS of .728 and scoring 54 runs over the course of a little less than 2/3 of a season. Oh and by the way, said kid is 23 years old. If you're the Dodgers upper management, you have to be thinking "wow, what a surprise...let's give this kid a shot. He could turn out to be a STEAL!"

NOPE, the Dodgers go out and sign a third baseman who is 35, never hit over .290, never knocked in over 90 RBI's, and never scored 100 runs. WHAT THE F! Pro-rate Dewitt's stats over the course of a whole season and you have yourself Casey Blake....minus 12 years and 17 million dollars. How does this make sense when you have the option to get C.C. or resign Manny? F'ing idiots.


MLB RUMORS


Mark Teixeira:

I'm hearing that Mark is more interested in playing out east A) because his wife likes it more out there B) to be closer to his family (grew up in Baltimore by the way).

The Nats heard that and put a 8 year/$160 MM offer on the table. The Orioles followed with a 7 year/$145 MM-ish offer. The Red Sox are said to be VERY interested and are somewhere in the ballpark of 7 years/$150+ MM. My Angels are being stupid as hell and not making a move. They are rumored, however, to have a 7 year/$160 million-ish offer on the table.

Boras clients take the money. They always have, and you would have to believe they always will. It's why he's hired, he just gets the most money for you and you're expected to take it. The Angels currently have the largest (per year) total on the table, but if he wants to go out east, you have to believe the Red Sox will put the same offer on the table and he will sign.

The Angels are in trouble if they don't get Tex. They need to give him give him 10 years $200 million, ownership rights to the entire California coastline, a back rub from Arnold Schwarzenegger, a free life pass to Disneyland and then buy eighteen full-time actresses to be his wife's friend.

Prediction: Red Sox

A.J. Burnett:

This sweepstakes has come down to the Braves and the Yankees. It was reported that A.J. was waiting on a five year contract and he's gotten it from both teams, supposedly earlier today.

Personally I don't think this guy is worth it. He's a huge injury concern and his numbers aren't really THAT great to warrant this kind of contract. However, if you're as desperate to sign some starting pitchers like the Yankees are, and you have suite's being rented out for 4X my monthly rent PER GAME, you can do whatever you want.

Prediction: Yankees

Manny Ramirez:

There is really no market for Manny right now, no rumors, no offers, no nothing. That of course will all change when Tex signs. Then the teams that lost (i.e. the Nats, Orioles, Angels) out on the sweepstakes will come-a-callin'.

Prediction: Nats

Pat Burrell:

There have been all sorts of rumors flying around that the Rays are very interested in acquiring Pat to hit some Ding-Dong's down in Tampa, but nothing official

Prediction: Rays

Milton Bradley:

The gas has officially been turned up on Milton Bradley. The Cubs have publicly announced he is their number one target besides Jake Peavy. The Rays met with him two days ago and Joe Maddon said he was "very impressed with his professionalism and drive." I'm confused by this. Is he talking about the same person I am? You can stop watching at 1:30...




I actually think Milton gets a bad rap for all of the crap he's been involved with. He plays extremely hard and can hit the leather off a ball, and his OPS is INSANE. I think he's a little crazy and is probably a little hard on the club house, but only half as bad as T.O.

Prediction: Cubs

I don't really care about anyone else soooo, on to Football.

NFL PLAYOFF PICTURE

What a confusing situation right now. I was on the phone last night trying to talk it out and I was going back and forth between teams schedules and conference records and came out having a small grasp on what the situation is looking like. So let me give you what little insight I currently have

NFC:

East: New York Giants clinched

Whew' that was easy.

West: Arizona Cardinals clinched

This is going to get confusing, just wait.

North: ?

Division Standings...


8-5 (4-2)

Remaining Schedule: @ Arizona, ATL, NYG

Minnesota could easily find themselves sitting on the sidelines of the playoff race. They have a TOUGH upcoming schedule and there's a large possibility that the Packers, if they beat Chicago in two weeks could leap frog them for the NFC North with a win against Detroit

Vikings are in if: The Packers lose either of their two remaining games against CHI or DET

The only other way they make it in is to have a better record than the Eagles/Bucs/Falcons/Cowboys for the Wild Card spot.


7-5 (3-2)

Remaining Schedule: NO, GB, @ HOU

All of those games are winnable. New Orleans has a tough offense to stop, but if anyone can, the Bear's defense can.

Bears are in if: They win the rest of their games and win the wild card.

Explanation: IF the Bears beat GB, they would be tied with MN for the division lead. The next tie-breaker would be head-to-head match ups, which is tied. The next tie-breaker is winning % against like opponents, which includes the AFC South and North. MN is 4-3 against said opponents with ATL to play. Chicago is 1-5 with NO and @ HOU to play. Therefore it's impossible for Chicago to get a better winning %, Vikings are in.

5-8 (3-1)

Remaining Schedule: @ JAX, @ CHI, DET

What a let down. This team started the season strong and looked to be the favorite to win this division. In their last five games they have lost 4, including their past three and look horrible. Anyone who has watched this team knows that they can catch fire at any minute and who knows, maybe they can get into the playoffs.

Packers are in if: They win @ Chicago AND beat Detroit.

Explanation: They win the division with a 5-1 record and top the Vikes. Crazy that a 8-8 team can win the division and a possible 11-5 team can't huh?

0-13 (0-5)

Remaining Schedule: @ IND, NO, @ GB

HAHA

Lions are in if: A) They fired Millen three seasons ago B) Every team in the NFC North gets in a plane crash C) Chuck Norris tells Roger Goodell they are in.


SO...that's the NFC North.


Not too bad of an explanation I hope. This is where it gets interesting.


South: ?


OK, This division is literally too close to call. I mean, just so you understand, If Atlanta beats TB this weekend and NO beats Carolina in two weeks...ALL of their division records will be 3-3, with all of them beating each other and losing to each other once. I wonder if this has EVER happened...



10-3 (3-2)

Remaining Schedule: Denver, @ Giants, @ NO

This team just BEAT THE CRAP out of the second place team in the division this Monday. I mean, they ran for 301 yards and then promptly slept with their girlfriend kind of performance. They're 4-1 in their last 5 and look poised to beat the living piss out of Denver and possibly beat the Giants. This team doesn't have a passing game, but they don't seem to care. They just run the ball through you with Stewart and then do the same with DeAngelo Williams. Watch out NFC, this team could easily make it to the Superbowl.

Panthers are in if: They beat New Orleans AND Tampa Bay loses to Atlanta.

They can also make it in if: They beat Denver this week AND Atlanta beats TB, then the following week Atlanta ALSO loses to Minnesota AND TB loses either to SD OR Oakland.

Or they can win the Wild Card

I know it's confusing, just trust me...


9-4 (3-2)

Remaining Schedule: @ ATL, SD, OAK

This team won four in a row until Monday night. Their defense looked unstoppable and then Carolina slept with their girlfriend on live TV and they got embarrassed. Who knows how this team responds after a game like that, but if they're anything like they were before, this could make for a great playoff race.

Bucs are in if: They beat Atlanta this week AND Carolina loses to NO next week

They can also make it if: They beat Atlanta this week, Carolina loses to Denver this week AND Carolina loses to NO next week AND they beat SD AND Oakland.

Or they could just win the wild card


8-5 (2-3)

Ah, the Falcons...the surprise team of the year if you ask me. Michael "The Burner" Turner is ripping up the NFL and Matt Ryan is being surprisingly consistent for an NFL QB. What else could you possibly want one year after the Vick scandal? Maybe a playoff birth?

The Falcons are in if: They win the rest of their games and Carolina loses the rest of theirs. One win or loss in the wrong way and they are out.

Well they could fight for the Wild Card.


7-6 (2-3)

My head hurts, I'm not explaining it, but they are out

That was confusing as hell but there you have it.

NFC Wild Card:

With all of this mumbo-jumbo going on with the two divisions up for grab, let us not forget about wild card possibilities.

The teams not mentioned up there are the Cowboys and the Eagles...

(8-5)

Remaining Schedule: NYG, BAL, @ PHL

Could the NFL have put a harder schedule in between them and the playoffs? Probably not. The Cowboys seem to be unraveling a bit and they're about to play back to back teams that are 4-1 in their last 5 games. T.O. explosion in T-Minus 3...2..1...

To guarantee a playoff birth the Cowboys need to win all of their remaining games and they need the Bucs to lose the division AND lose one of their games.


(7-5-1)

Remaining Schedule: CLE, @ WAS, DAL

Where the hell did these guys come from? Four weeks ago they tied, the second worst team in the NFL. Three weeks ago the got embarrassed by the Ravens and pulled their starting QB in favor of Kevin Kolb. Then they come home to a fan base which hates them, is calling for the heads of both the head coach and the QB and slap around a division clinching Cardinals team by 28 points. THEN! They go TO NY and beat, argueably, the best team in football.

I don't know what kind of Campbell's Chunky Soup they've been eating since Baltimore, but they need to keep grubbin...except for Andy, he can take a Chunky Soup light.

Eagles are in if: They win ALL of their remaining games AND they need Atlanta to not win the NFC South (beating Carolina in the Wild Card is basically impossible) AND they need the Bucs to lose two games

OK I'll add on the AFC later because there's some interesting stuff going on over there too...BUT I have a flight to catch back to Philly and I have to take off.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.

Big Time Baseball Free Agents

This off-season marks an unprecedented number of big time free agents who find themselves completely open to moving anywhere in the country, given you have the dough available to do so.

It also marks a timeless struggle between the Yankees and every other team in baseball for the best players in the market. We all know the Yankees have deep pockets, but now there are teams across the country that have equally deep, or even deeper pockets to go after those prize-possession players.

I'm going to give a breakdown of the big name players available, issues teams might run into, hints at where they want to play and anything else I see fit.

C.C. Sabathia -

Negatives: I hate this guy. He's 300 pounds, pitched well over 8,000 innings last season and can be incredibly un-impressive at times. Pitched a TON of inning last year, big health question mark.

Positives: FILTHY slider, I mean un-hittable stuff at times. Durable up to this point. He will do anything it takes to win (like when he pitched the Brewers into the playoffs BY HIMSELF) including pitching consecutive complete games on short rest. The fact that it's completely within the realm of possibility to hear a story in which he is "running around a McDonald's stealing every one's hamburgers and jamming them down his throat."

That last point means I'm dubbing C.C. the new "Hamburglar." This is something that hasn't been mentioned since Bartolo Colon's fat ass came into Anaheim and stunk up the joint with his sausage fingers...

Being pursued by: Angels, Yankees, Brewers, Giants, Dodgers.

Possible issues: C.C. has made it very obvious that he is trying to move to the left coast. He grew up there and has made it public that he will take less money to be out West once again.

PROJECTION: L.A. Dodgers


Mark Teixeira -

Positives - Pure hitter, hits for power, very patient and is durable...almost a guarantee to hit over 100 RBI's for the next 6-7 years.

Negatives - Seems like he's too perfect, large possibility of turning out to be a robot. (unnecessary maintenance possible)

This guy is as close to having no risk as it comes. He's the best first baseman in the league hands down, yes I think he's as good as Pujols. He's young and title-hungry, go get him at any cost.

Being pursued by: Angels, Yankees, Red Sox, Nationals, Orioles

Possible issues: Scott Boras is his agent. This means LONG negotiations so he can work the numbers in favor of his client. Good thing is that Tex said he wants everything to be figured out by Christmas. His wife "doesn't know anyone in California." Boras wants a 10-year contract for the 28 year old Teixeira...which is RIDICULOUS.

The Yankees are most likely going to either sign C.C. or Teix and then sign another pitcher to nail up their rotation so given the current offer on the table for C.C. they might not be interested in Teix. However, the fact that they have a huge void after releasing Giambi would make you think otherwise. The Angels supposedly have a huge man-crush on him and have specifically stated he is their number one goal this off-season but their recent attention on C.C. would make you think otherwise. Your guess is as good as mine where he ends up

Projection: Los Angeles Angels


Manny Ramirez -

Positives: He can hit the shit out of the ball. He's incredibly loose and can take a lot of pressure off of a stressed clubhouse by making the game fun again. Opens the market for dread lock hats with your teams logo on it. High-fives fans after making catches.

Negatives: He's old and could be cancer on a clubhouse. Only an average left fielder. Has been cited for not trying to play through injuries, or caring for that matter. Opens the market for dread lock hats with your teams logo on it.

Being pursued by: Dodgers, Angels, Orioles

Possible issues: Manny wants a long term contract.

Manny being Manny is one of the most ridiculous attractions a team can have, in good ways and bad. He has a tale of two seasons in '08. He showed how he can ruin a team in the wrong clubhouse (Red Sox) and then went out West and showed how his attitude can bring together a team for the best in the right kind of clubhouse (Dodgers).

Projection: Nationals (They need some publicity to get people at the park, Manny will give it to them)



A.J. Burnett -

Positives: Has #1 stuff when he's on. Can strike out anyone, at any time. Still has 4-5 years left in him.

Negatives: He's 31 and is on the backside of his career. He's has injury problems in nearly every season he has pitched. Never compiled a dominant season in a non-contract year.

Being pursued by: Phillies, Yankees, Orioles, Braves, Red Sox

Possible issues: A.J. is looking for a 5-year deal which could be a bit too much for some teams. Was born in Arkansas, affinity for 210's could take his focus off of pitching.

I think A.J. is going to be the Yankees only decent free agent after C.C. ends up dropping their offer to go out west. He hasn't been impressive, but he's been good enough to warrant some attention. I don't see him being reliable, or being anything better than a #2 his entire career.

Projection: Yankees

Baseball, I Miss You

This past month has made me realize something; well actually, two things.

I hate cold weather and I love baseball more than any sport in the world.

I was expecting to find myself focused on the Eagles failure of a franchise and to have baseball be a mere afterthought...but the exact opposite has happened.

I could seriously care less about football right now. Maybe that's because it's been a painful 11 games for the, until recently, playoff-bound Eagles. Maybe it's because the league is being DOMINATED by my most hated team in the league, the New York Giants. Maybe it's because Michael Vick isn't in the league anymore. Maybe it's because I'm getting my ass handed to me in 4/5 of my fantasy leagues...I just don't know. The fact is, lately, I find my Sundays focused more around seeing how much FIFA 09 (filthy game by the way...) I can fit in and watching Colbert re-runs than around football. I mean I flip back and forth and watch parts of games, but just not with the same intensity I did last year.

Don't worry, I'm not going to stop writing about it, I know you guys love hearing my rants of stupidity too much to stop that. I watch it every Sunday and I don't plan on keeping my opinions to myself...

Actually I think I figured out what happened. I think my whole season ended two weeks ago when I was sitting in the Bengals stadium, looking into the sky and asking god how we just tied a team who's best receiver has a pony tail so long that it rivals my 12 year old cousin's. Part of me died that week knowing that McNabb was not going to be our quarterback next season and that our team was entering a dark hole. That part of me will hopefully come back next fall, but until then...my life is baseball.

Slightly Funny

Week 12 Foosball

Overlying Themes for Week 12

"Getting over the hump"

Only two teams who were 5-5 last year made it to the playoffs...

Who's 5-5 this year? Buffalo @ KC, Chicago @ STL, MN @ JAX, GB @ NO (both 5-5)

So with all of these teams away, except NO, it makes for an interesting week for playoff hopes...

If the season ended today, this is who would be in the playoffs: TEN, PIT, NYJ, DEN, MIA, NYG, CAR, CHI, ZONA, TB

In the AFC there's actually 4 teams tied @ 6-4: BAL, IND, MIAMI, NE

In my opinion, either MIA or IND have the best chance to get in. Yes, I said Miami. Don't look now boneheads, Miami has won 4 games in a row. They also have the remaining schedule: NE, @ STL, @ BUF, SF, @ KC, @ NYJ. I can almost guarantee you that they win @ STL, SF, @ KC which puts them at 9-4. You also have to agree that if they continue to play how they have, they will steal one of the other three. Only three times in the past ten seasons has a ten win team NOT made the playoffs. (Yes, the Browns were one of them last year. Don't worry, since Philly won the WS, you are now the most cursed city in sports history)

Regardless of all of the ranting above, the three or so teams that were 5-5 before this week and lose, can consider their season OVER.


"BIG Conference Implications"

NE-Miami:

This game could very well decide the AFC Wild Card winner. This is the rematch of the 38-13 destruction of NE that unveiled the almighty "Wild-Cat" offense formation. You know, the game where Ronnie Brown magically came out of his fantasy shell and ran for 133 yds, 4 TD's and passed for another. You have to believe that NE has that game box score up in the locker room. Not only did Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams embarrass them, but Joey Porter sacked Cassel four times and he looked like he had absolutely no idea what he was doing all day. Miami came into the first game looking like a three win team and came out looking like a completely different animal, let's see what comes of their second meeting.





Carolina-Atlanta: (Carolina beat Atlanta 24-9 in their 1st meeting)

When Carolina and Atlanta played earlier this year the final score was 24-9 and most probably thought Atlanta was an after thought for first place in the NFC South. At the time, they had only beaten Detroit and KC, granted by considerable margins...but still, and they had a rookie QB at the helm; not exactly a team most would choose to win the NFC South. Carolina on the other hand, had a double headed monster of a backfield with DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, a new elbow on their old QB and the best WR in the NFL...with a very solid defense.

Now we stand in a different place:

Matt Ryan turned out to be the 2008 Big Ben and is performing better than half the QB's in the league. Michael Turner panned out to be worth every penny, being a workhorse between the tackles, as well as a threat to break it on any carry. Roddy White has turned into a pro-bowl receiver (currently tied for third in yardage and TD's for receivers) and their defense is, as of late, coming up with timely big plays to keep them ahead in games.

Carolina is kind of in the same boat. Delhomme has been ho-hum, Steve Smith has been out-shined by Mushin Muhammed and their RB's have carried them to their 8-2 record. Actually, their defense has had a huge part in it too, somehow allowing only 15.5 points a game. (3rd in the NFL)

This is going to be an interesting rematch to watch, I don't think it's going to be 24-9 again.





INTERESTING GAMES TO WATCH:

1:00 PM

Philadelphia @ Baltimore:

Philadelphia's season, barring a miracle, is done. Their QB AND head coach don't know the rules in the NFL, they just tied the FREAKING Bengals, and they are in sole possession of last place of the NFC East. It's going to be interesting to see how they handle this game. Baltimore is one of THE toughest places to play in the NFL. Not because of their fans per say, as much as how their defense plays there. Don't believe me? The Ravens defense is giving up an average of ten points per contest at home this year. If that doesn't sell you, just ask the Patriots from last season...

New York Jets @ Tennessee:

I think the Jets are going to get smoked in this game. Not on the scoreboard necessarily, but on the field for sure. The Jets are going to find it a lot harder to run on this defensive line than they have every other one, and their defense is going to get killed. The only reason I'm going to watch this game is going to be because I love hearing the halftime explanations for why it isn't as close as they all predicted.

LATE GAMES

New York Giants @ Arizona:

The "we're the real deal" vs. "we can be better than 8-8" is going to be a VERY interesting game to watch. I bet the Giants didn't have this bad boy circled at the beginning of the year, eh? The ridiculously STACKED Cardinals offense goes up against a solid defense while the consistently productive Giants offense goes up against a revamped, yet still mediocre, Cardinals defense. The real battle here is going to be the Giants pass rush against Kurt Warner's fumbling habit. My guess? Justin Tuck 3 - Kurt Warner 0.

Indianapolis @ San Diego:

Ah, the game of under achiever's, well kind-of. What a difference on year makes right? San Diego is one blown call and a miraculous last second touchdown away from being 6-4, but the bottom line is they are still 4-6. Indianapolis has had a TOUGH schedule but have come on as of late and sit at a healthy 6-4. It's going to be interesting to watch this game for two reasons: A) These are both two VERY good teams B) These teams really HATE each other

I'm hoping for the following:

- Un-necessary contact with Peyton Manning, which in turn makes Marvin Harrison lose it and pull out his Glock and shoot Shaun Phillips
- A TD celebration which includes LT pulling out a Colts shirt and pretending to pee on it
- A TD celebration in which a player punts the ball into the stands (how has this not happened yet)
- A "inside scoop" half-time prep talk in which Norv Turner reveals that the rumors are true that he is dying of cancer. Then he reveals to "surprise on-field announcer" Erin Andrews that it "wasn't really true, he just heard stuff likes that sometimes works."
- That new Peyton Manning commercial where he politely turns around every aggressive comment he hears from his hotel staff.

Never mind, now I can watch it whenever I want.

Korea is taking over the world...

I just watched this video on Extra Mustard and I am truly mesmerized by this kid. He can't be older than 12, at the absolute oldest. Either way, his name is Sungha Jung and he's from South Korea...check out his profile page on you tube... http://www.youtube.com/user/jwcfree

This song is the most impressive one out of all of them. It's almost like this kid just gets bored at the beginning and starts slapping the strings of the guitar. This is only topped when he starts crossing his hands while playing and doing all sorts of insane stuff.



This is a song that this kid has already written himself...



I feel like a waste of life when I find stuff like this.

Livin' on a Prayer is money too...

NFL Week 10: Where do we stand?

Where we stand is there is some f'ed up stuff going on.


Which of the following statements would you have agreed with after the ninth week of the season?


- The Ravens would be in first place
- The Titans would be undefeated
- The Jets would be in first place
- The Miami Dolphins would be over .500
- The Jax Jaguars would be under .500
- The Chargers would be under .500 and would have lost to Carolina and Miami (and beat KC by one)

FYI That's only the AFC..I know, insane...moving on...


- the 49ers/Seahawks/Rams would be a combined 6-21
- Carolina would be 7-2
- THE FALCONS WOULD BE 6-3
- The Dallas Cowboys would be 5-4
- Every team in the NFC East would be over .500


That's a pretty intense list of stats right there and ALL of them are true. Insane to think about that right?


Current Statistical Surprises:


- Kurt Warner is second in the league in passing yards
- The Saints/Broncos/Texans are all in the top five team offenses
- The Redskins has a top five defense (lowest sack total in league last year)
- Joey Porter is leading the league in sacks


This shit is unreal. Think about the previous 15 statements and if you could have guessed five of those you should be working for ESPN. It's unbelievable what has happened this year, it's like Dumb and Dumber got remade and Sea Bass (unknowingly played by hockey superstar Cam Neely) stole the show and won an Oscar for best supporting author.


So that being said, who cares, what's going to continue to happen?


I give you the continuing/non-continuing trends of the "Oh-So-Gay" 2008-2009 NFL Season:


LEGIT:


TENNESSEE TITANS - This team is legit. The only thing that can end this string of wins is a a Kerry Collins injury or a MAJOR line injury. The Titans defense is legit. They have an intense front seven (minus Jevon Kearse) and have a surprisingly solid secondary. They can run, they are physical, they can pass when a team stops the run (Bears game), watch out New England, you will be playing them in the playoffs.


CARDINALS -Their defense is average but it doesn't matter, these guys score a bagillion points every game and you can't stop them. They realized a fatal flaw in their offense by benching Edgerrin James and Warner has been a surprising success. When's the last time you could start three receivers from the same team in fantasy and still potentially score 45 points? Answer, cardinals...Breaston, Fitz, Boldin. This team can beat anyone, anytime, anywhere.



Ravens - I know this seems crazy, but the bottom line is they have a run based offense and a solid defense. That's almost an automatic playoff bid if you stay healthy. Bad thing to say for the Steelers (who are going to make the playoffs anyways, as either a division winner or a division winner) this team can run the ball down your throat and they can knock your fullback into the backfield on any given play, not a good combination to play against.


The Lions: They Suck, two wins, tops.


Giants - I haven't seen a team be this dominant in quite sometime. They have a SOLID rush, a solid pass D, a solid run D = SOLID Defense. They have an unreal run offense, and a surprisingly stellar pass offense...watch out, DEEP playoff run coming.


NOT LEGIT:


THE JETS - COME THE F ON. The Jets defense blows. The first time they played the Pats they lost, the second time they barely beat them (granted away) and allowed Cassell to throw 3 TD passes. Brett Favre is past his prime and is capable of leading a team to the playoffs, but is not capable of leading a team past the Pats. This would be a different scenario if they didn't have mangina as their coach, but the sad thing is they do. They are not impressive on either side of the ball and they will mess this lead up, somehow.


BROOOOOOOOOOOONCOS - HA. Worst defense in the NFL. Well not legitimately, they are 29/32, but they are giving up 21 points a game and have the second worst ratio of TO per game.. Let's be honest, Mike Shanahan is an offensive genius, but he does not light the candle on the defensive side of the ball. This team can put up 40-50 points on any given night against ANY given defense, but the problem is they can do the same thing on D, against any team HOME OR AWAY. Don't plan on seeing this team in the playoffs.


THE EAGLES: I'm sorry it's just not happening this year birds fans, we have a tough conference and a knack for losing games in the last two minutes. Crazy stats for people who think I'm an idiot...last 11 games that the Eagles played which were decided by less than 7 points (0-11) last 11 prime time games the Eagles have played in, (2-9). Scary stats eh. The sad thing is, our city might have lost our coach in the last game against the Giants. 2:54 to go at your own 20 yard line, down 4, you're an Eagles fan...do you expect to score? FUCK NO. Andy Reid (if you listen to Philly radio stations) has a knack for losing games in the last two minutes. It's unreal how he unravels in the last two, it's almost like he means to.


LAST GAME: Here's a run down of how the last game ended


second down seven to go: QB Scramble 5yds.

third down two to go (2:24 to go) : D Mac is tired and calls a huddle because he feels like 24 seconds is too long to get another play in and calls a huddle..WTF ^(*&%(^&)$)(&)%&)($*)($*$#@@@@


a sweep is called to the right side and Westbrook is short by two yards


fourth and two to go (1:45 to go) right tackle run, and an embarrassing STUFF right side


ANDY REID, I HATE YOU


THINGS I'M CONFUSED BY:


COLTS: WHAT THE F Colts? I don't understand...are you old? Are you sleeping? Are you still good? Would you be better with Bob Sanders infinitely on the DL? I'm so confused, you could make the playoffs...get your shit together.


That, my friends, is all I can say about week 10...word.

Wow

It's been over two weeks since I've written anything about sports on this blog, and almost three weeks since I've written anything regarding football, I suck.

I'm ashamed of myself and will give my rundown of the NFL post week 9. (+1 NFL Network game)

I think I've internally tried not to touch the subject because I'm upset, understandably so, with my Eagles direction.

That being said, I'm going to be in Cincinnati for the Eagles game this weekend if anyone else is interested in slamming beers before the game. Hit me up if you're going to be going to the game, I'm already heading down with four or five buddies from school, so adding to the group would only mean exponential amounts of belligerent chaos. Cheers.

This Could Be....

The funniest video on the internet. Courtesy of my sister, I present "The Count Song"



I love at 1:53 where he just goes nuts. 1234 1234 woooooooooo!!!!!!

PARENTING FAIL

There's this great website everyone should consistently be checking called fail blog. ( http://failblog.org/ )

This shit is HILARIOUS. The whole premise behind the website is failure. People failing in anything. You fall down the steps, fail. You find yourself watching some cool dance moves and accidentally let your kid get kicked in the head, fail.




That one isn't hilarious, but it IS ridiculous. Here's a great example of what I'm talking about.




I'm pretty sure we've all had that moment where you wake up after an incredibly long night out and you look around and say to yourself "OH SHIT, WHERE THE F AM I?"

This guy went to a whole new level. Not only did he not know where he walked home from, but he also walked home barefoot and left his shoes at this place. A normal person would chalk that one down as a lost pair of shoes right? This buttcock goes back and puts up lost puppy signs for his sentimental pair of New Balances. People like this make me feel better about myself as a part of society.

1 more....who trained this dog? Maybe America just has really stringent schools for attack dogs.



UPDATE: HAHAHAHA I had to...this shit is priceless

A Little Up and Coming Music for Ya

I've been jamming to some hard core "Strokes-esque 80's tunes," lately and I thought I would let everyone in on a little secret...

This band (The Virgins) is coming out with their first legit CD and I think they are going to have a pretty damn successful launch. Plus they make awesome music videos.

This is the album to the right, intelligently entitled, "The Virgins"







"Private Affair" - This song is my favorite on the album and makes me look like a bobble head when I'm listening to it.



"Rich Girls" - Who doesn't love music videos with half naked chicks in it?



If you like these two songs, you'll like the whole album. The whole thing is awesome, go get it.

For those of you with itunes, this link will take you right there...I know, I'm a genius.

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=293881115&s=143441

America, FUCK YEAH!!!

America, we have elected a new leader...We are on the verge of a new country, a new direction. The election has been over since 10:30 and I'm inspired by the direction our country is now taking.

While I'm on this lame speech, let me congratulate the young population for being THE difference in this election. Georgia and Idaho were the ONLY two states to show an advantage to McCain for voters 18-24. 66% of Americans under 30 voted for Obama (it's split 50-50 from 30-65 and 65+ voted 53% in favor of McCain)

That being said, check out this website. ( http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/ ) They are spot on. It's unbelievable how accurate they were. They basically looped all of the exit polls together, ran their model 10,000 times and predicted the outcome of the election...check it out, be impressed.






This is what they predicted....













This is what happened....









Did anyone else get goosebumps more than twice during that speech?

Line of the speech: "It (the campaign) grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy. Who left their homes and their families, for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep. It drew strength from the not so young people; who braved the bitter cold and the scorching heat to knock on doors of perfect strangers. (It grew) From the millions of Americans that volunteered and organized and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from the earth. This is your victory.

You all realize, it's a huge possibility we will be watching this video in 30 years with our kids talking about what a monumental change this election created...Amazing



UPDATE:

I read a great article written by my friend RevHaloFan that I thought should be shared with you all. I don't like playing the race card on this election, but Rev does a great job putting this historical election in perspective. ( http://coagula.livejournal.com/2008/11/04/ )

Are you all still going to rock your Obama stuff after he takes office? I think I'm going to switch to all of the "Viva Bush" shirts I have laying in the back of my closet.

Buttcock...

No I'm not making this word up, it exists. At least Tommy Johnaquin thinks it should. I had the pleasure of going out to a comedy club this weekend and randomly having Tommy perform. He's done standup on Letterman, Comedy Central and apparently in Gotham?

Check it out, laugh, see him if you have the chance.



The following link is the Buttcock joke...sorry I couldn't link it (he disabled it)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKbuVVQ0SPI

Imagine at the end of that joke if he said "I don't want it to get out that I actually have a Buttcock."

Anyone who comes up with that word is friggin awesome in my book.

Does anyone know how to make this my ringtone?

This dude is a total Chode...

You've got to be kidding me...

Not a lot of talk this post, just a lot of video...I hope this first video is not serious

This might go down in history as the best thing a fan (who happens to be the ref of the game) has ever done for his team.



This is ridiculous, and this man should be elected "You Tube Chair" in Barack's office.



For those of you who haven't seen this actual music video...get ready. Nothing says creey like a red head dancing around in a trench coat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

Useless Stuff I Found Today...

WHO NEEDS GOLF?

Via the mann (Josh Mann), I was made aware the Jon Daly has been soiling his pants via alcohol.

Jon Daly was escorted out of a North Carolina Hooter's restaurant (which ironically has been one of his, I'm sure proud, sponsor's since 8/05) last night after he passed out after hours of drinking. The paramedics tried to assist him but he said "f*&$ you guys, I've drank a lot more than that." (I think he said that at least)

The cops took him in for a "24-Hour sober up," period.

He looks pretty good, no?




HOW HAS THIS NOT SURFACED?

For those of you who didn't know already, there is a former Ms. Alaska running for VP of America and she is pretty hot. I don't know how videos of her swimming suit part of the competition haven't surfaced yet....oh wait they just did.

Should Game 5 of the World Series Have Been Played?

Yes.

Should Bud Selig have made the decision to play nine innings? Yes.

Could the game have been handled better? You bet your ascot.

In my opinion there two mistakes, one a major one, mistake that was made that could have possibly changed the entire outcome of this world series.

I'm sure you're all intelligent human beings and have figured out the big mistake I'm talking about already...the sixth inning.

The bottom line is that it shouldn't have happened at all. It makes game 5 unfair. I don't care how bad you want to play nine innings of baseball, it shouldn't occur in a monsoon. Bud Selig made a horrible decision to continue playing this game into the sixth inning. We were already at an even point in the game; each team had hit through fifteen outs, each team had defended fifteen outs. The field was a ridiculous sight. There were divits the size of my head near second and first. Luckily I recorded this game....check out these pictures.


















How ridiculous is this field? On top of that, what the hell was Bud Selig thinking with a radar screen like that? Yeah maybe you can get three more innings in with Baltimore being bombarded with rain...

Beyond this major mistake that Bud Selig made, he should have relayed the information that there would be nine innings played no matter what. If he did this, I can guarantee you that Joe Maddon and Charlie Manuel would have thought the game should be finished on another day...way to drop the ball Bud.

So, What Now?


There have been some interesting conversations coming out of this decision to stop the game. Is it time that baseball opens it's eyes and picks a neutral site (that isn't -35 degrees in October) to play the world series? Should Joe Buck be kicked in the teeth in order for him to commentate the next World Series on Fox? how would these decisions affect the outcome of the All-Star Game? (You all should know that the outcome of the All-Star game determines the home field advantage for the world series)


I think that the world series should continue to be played how it is. I love the home field advantage. It's something that you fight for over 162 games to earn. The fans deserve to be able to pay $1,000 for a nose-bleed seat and get plastered in a parking lot no more than 30 minutes from their doorstep. That's the right you deserve as a baseball fan and my god Bud Selig, if you take that from me I will hit you with a baseball bat, after I beat up Joe Buck. What a schmuck.

Who's better than Kruk?

I don't have a job with ESPN because I'm 1/10th the man John Kruk is. I've always been a fan of the Matt Stairs look a like but this recent finding makes him even better. This link will take you to two QUALITY showings on David Letterman back in the nineties...Kruk's haircut and wit are priceless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHUylS-zdHs

why do i not get a job with espn?

Will someone please give me credit for calling out balfour?

I've stepped it up fans...

(UPDATED - Mainly for clarity purposes, I was slightly drunk at the time and some of this stuff doesn't make sense, but it was all going through my head I promise you...)

I'm officially bloggin from a f'ing bar, am I a model of determination or what?

After listening to the AM Radio stations over the past week or so I was struck with a homework assignment that I believe everyone can get a kick out of. We all hate Joe Buck, it's like a disease that Fox has injected into all of America's veins and I got a double dose. A caller came on the show and was complaining about how he hates Joe Buck and the announcer kind of ripped him to shreds because he had no evidence of what Buck said to piss him off. So, as a homework assignment I wrote down everything he said that pissed me off during the game...here ya go:

1st inning...

- "pena hitless in the world series" (wow, can we try to break a streak)
- "the ever so dangerous evan longoria"
- "and that's a pitch longoria usually crushes"
- an incredibly lame reference to desperate housewives
- "rollins...hitless in this series" (and he just got a hit, take that Joe Buck)
+ "rollins is the best base stealer in the game"
- "philadelphia has left eleven on in each of the first two games... "
+ "superb base running by rollins and werth" ( by other announcer)
+ "garza is not comfortable"
- "utley behind in count" (when he's not...he was up 2-1)
- show shitty stat about howard...
- "how much do you want to test ryan howard who has only three rbi's in the post season"
- "more trouble for ryan howard"

2nd inning

- "7 for 7 crawford stealing third"

4th inning

- evan "don't call me eva" longoria
- let's tote matt ryan in front of philadelphia fans...fuck fox

5th inning

+ Made note of philly knockin bombs out of the park...
- during this game a three minute, dude on dude dance session broke out at field house. Not cool
- Made a reference to Jamie moyers "incredible move to first base" which could possibly be the worst in the majors
- not about joe buck, but Jamie Moyer sticking his tongue out might be one of the highlights of the series...

..it's a hectic time here in philly

Go Phils, let's collectively stop depression in philly

P.s. I love joe buck talking shit on the carl crawford call at first

After writing all of this, I don't think Joe Buck is really that biased, he just says what is going on. I still hate him though, he seems like a prick.

Mid WS Game 1 Post

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!

Next Tuesday, everyone needs to take complete advantage of Taco Bell's free "steal base get a taco," campaign. Tuesday October 28th is the official free taco day...please coerce yourself, by way of grade E meat, to the bathroom for threee days and make your significant other love baseball just a bit more...

We're in the 6th inning and it looks like the Phillies are on their way to a game one victory. They are making Kazmir pitch 8000 pitches per inning and are already digging into the bullpen. Scary thing is that the Rays can hit at any minute and Cole Hamels look like he has maybe one more good inning in him.

BREAKING NEWS: The president of Taco Bell is fat. WHAT A SURPRISE!

Check Out The Buns on that Hose-Hound

Last night I was sitting around thinking about what was going to decide this series. The more I thought about it the more I felt like this series is basically even. There are three people from each team who are going to make a difference in my decision of how this series will end...that's it.

Phillies:

Pat Burrell

Why is Pat going to need a big performance down in Tampa in order for the Phils to get off to a good start? The main reason is because no one has bulging biceps and bear rug chest hair like that. The other is in game one they are going to be facing a strong lefty and he's the only person, besides Utley, that is hitting well against them. Whens the last time they faced a dominant left-hander? No, that wasn't on his fourth consecutive three day rest start....it's Johan Santana on 9/7 in the second game of a double-header.

Pat is going to need to be that spark in the first game, he is hitting .280 against lefties this season and is the only power right handed bat in the lineup.

Besides the offense he brings, Pat is going to have to play good D in a tough dome to see fly balls. This is not the time for one of the lame jogs to fly balls, they disappear up there and you need every second to react to the ball. I can almost guarantee you that this comes up at least once while he is down in Tampa, I just hope it's not costly.

Jamie Moyer

I hate to put the stats out there, but last outing: 1.1 innings, 6 hits, 6 ER, 1 HR, 2 Ks. His outing before that he only lasted 4 innings and let up two runs on 90 pitches.

You have to wonder if his arm is tired or if he is just flustered. Either way, he needs to get over it and focus on game 3. The great thing about him not being stellar in his past two games is that historically he is going to turn it around.

If you look at his season history, he's given 5 or 6 runs three times this season, want to know what his next game was? A win for the Phillies. In Moyer's last 17 games the Phillies are 13-4, in those that were at home, 5-2.

Stats aside, Moyer needs to pitch game 3 like it's the last game he's ever going to pitch, because it might be. The Rays are going to come into Philadelphia and be shell-shocked for the first couple of innings because they're finally going to hear what 40,000+ fans that actually care about the game sound like. If Moyer can take advantage and get on a roll, watch out...could make for a good home-stand.

On a side note, doesn't Jamie Moyer look a lot like Scott Baio in that card? ( http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&q=scott+baio )

Cole Hamels

Cole has been amazing. He's shown everyone in the country that he is an ace, just ask the Brewers and Dodgers. He's also shown his team that despite being a 24 year old kid from California, he is a leader and a big game performer. All he's done in the playoffs is dominated two of the better hitting teams in the NL and earned the NLCS MVP. Now all he has to do is beat the best hitting team in the AL.

Cole's biggest tell on his performance is giving up the long ball. In games where he has given up 2 or more home runs, he is 0-8. The good thing about that stat is that he didn't have complete control of his change up during the first 2/3 of the season. In mid-August Cole turned a corner going 8-2 in his last 10 decisions, allowing only 6 HR's (he allowed 2 only once).

The Phillies need a big game out of their Ace and I think they're going to get it.

Interesting Stats:

The Phillies game three starter made his major league debut when the Rays' two star rookies were less than a year old. Also, Jamie Moyer will be making the first World Series start of his 22-year career.

Only three players have faced Scott Kazmir: Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard and Pat Burrell. Their combined stats: 1/6, 1 K, 3 BB...

Phillies biggest strength is wearing down pitchers; be patient, make him throw strikes, wear him down boys.

The Cowboys Suck.

AND NOW THE RAYS:

David Price

Everyone who is reading this blog was watching game 7. We all saw his 97-98 mph fastball overwhelm the Red Sox. This phenoms first big time situation was a 2 on, 2 outs top of the 8th inning show in which he struck out a batter to get out of the inning (on a shitty call fyi).

The kid is still young, but he is going to be called upon to do some big things in this playoff series. I've heard this before...oh wait, it was when Maddon was the bench coach on the Angels. That's right, a kid named Frankie Rodriguez came in at 20 years old, won five post season games en route to a gold trophy with a bunch of small flags on it.

2 things are going for this kid: A) people haven't seen him in the regular season, so his pitches are going to surprise batters B) he was a stud at Vandy and pitched gem after gem in pressure situations in college...

It's going to be interesting to see how he pitches in the world series, but I have a feeling he is going to be 2008's K-Rod.

Grant Balfour

What in the hell happened to this guy? Balfour was lights out all season, posting a 1.54 ERA with a ridiculous .89 WHIP over the regular season. Then he comes in to relieve Scott Kazmir in the infamous Red Sox comeback and gives up 4 runs while only getting one out. He has only pitched in game six since then when all he did was come in, walk a guy, get a pop out and then walk a guy.

I can't believe more people haven't put an emphasis on this. He was the best set up man for the Rays all season; if he doesn't hit this hand-bike a little harder and get out of this funk, it's going to be hard for them to hand off the torch to Price.

Mr. 210

What the F bomb is going on with this guy too? He hits 9 HR's all year and then suddenly decided to start hitting for power? He's hit seven home runs in the post season including four in his last five games. Did he take a trip to see Jose Canseco? Is he finally healthy?

Who knows...the big question is can he keep it up. We know Longoria and Pena's power is legit, they've both been crushing pitches all season. BJ Upton's was hiding in 2007 (he hit 24 home runs in 2007) and apparently decided to make an appearance. Maybe Maddon told him to focus on speed more so that they could manufacture runs, maybe because it thinks it will make him a better future player to focus on whatever the hell he was focusing on this year. Either way, he is a HUGE part to their success through the ALCS, and he will be crucial in the WS.

Interesting Stat: With Devil in their name: has a .398 winning percentage (645-972), were last place 9 out of 10 years, flaunted Fred "The Crime Dog" McGriff as their franchise best player,

Since omitting Devil: have won an AL East title, won a seven game series in the playoffs, set the record for Homeruns in a single series, set a franchise record for wins in a season, have one of the top five youngest average age of starters in the majors, generally don't suck anymore.

IN CLOSING

This is going to be an unbelievable series. It's going to be offensive, there are going to be a lot of HR's and some great defense. All that being said I think the bullpens, like always, are going to decide this series.

If you look the bullpens up and down, it really comes down to the Rays being in a bit of trouble. Yeah, Maddon did put Price in...who the hell else was he going to turn to? Wheeler's throwing cantaloupes to batters, J.P. Howell can' throw a fastball over 88 and Balfour doesn't know what country he's in since he let up four in Boston.

So all signs point to the Phillies winning except for their ridiculous string of bad luck.

GO PHILLIES (In six games)

Rays-Phillies World Series Shit-show

Bottom-line, this could be one of the most offensive World Series to ever hit the big stage. Both of these lineups are STACKED offensively and could output double digits in any game. That being said, here are my keys to the series for each team:

RAYS:

Relief Pitchers - This was the Achilles heel in the series altering game in the Red Sox series. The infamous 12 inning win by the Sox, 8 runs via Dan Wheeler, J.P. Howell and company. However, the next game they responded by throwing four shutout innings and I think we all saw their performance last night.

The Rays have some ridiculous talent to throw at you in the end of a game: David Price, Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell, Edwin Jackson. All of those guys have fastballs above 95 (except Howell who throws all off-speed junk) and can turn hitters around to walk to their dugouts in big spots.

RUN RUN RUN - The Phillies have had problems defending the running game all season and the Rays have three players in the middle of their lineup who can steal a base at any given moment (Iwamura, Upton, Crawford). If the Rays get their lead off hitters on the base paths, they could be forcing the Phillies pitchers to deal in some high pressure situations. Could turn out to be a huge part of the Rays offense.

Happy Hour Hitters - Ah, the 5-9 club. Other than the game last night (2 rbi's, 1 HR) they have been a huge waste of life during the post season. If they can get any sort of streak going, this team is going to put up over ten runs on the board. Over a three game period, the 1-2-3-4 hitters put up 21 runs, by themselves.


Stop Wearing Ray-Hawks: Well get your fans to stop, because they look retarded.

PHILLIES:


Phillies Starters - These guys are going to have to pitch the first run through the lineup perfectly. The Rays scored 2 or more runs in the first inning in 3 of the last seven games, in the games they didn't score in the first inning, they T'd off their next time around. The Rays are VERY good their second time through the lineup, they get pitcher's timing down quickly and sit on pitches and usually crush them if you give them what they are looking for. If Ruiz & Co. can keep them off kilter through 6 innings and limit them to three runs , the Phillies will win this series.

Stop Pitching Upton Fastballs - Jesus H. Christ he's hit 7 HR's in the postseason (4 in his last 7 games) and he had 9 all season long. Every HR he has hit he was sitting on a fastball and the pitcher's delivered it to him. I think it's safe to say he's locked in right now, stop giving Mr. 210 Ding Dong's for breakfast.

(By the way if you're wondering what Mr. 210 means, it's a shortcut for saying Blow J...second letter in the alphabet and the tenth...hence B.J. Upton's nickname is Mr. 210)

Beat Up James Shields - I mean Tanya Harding the crap out of him. Pull out a crow bar and break his femur in nine places. Shields has not been solid in the postseason, he seems like he's lost a little of his "bad-assness." Plus shelling anyone who is referred to as "Jamie" would make it all the more fun. If Philly can come out of Tampa with one win against one of their dominant young pitchers, I would consider it a huge boost and Shields is their best chance. Philly is going to be going NUTS for the first world series in thirty years (tickets for standing room only are $800 on stub hub right now) and I think they can ride that to at least two wins at home.

This is going to be the best team the Phillies have faced in nearly two months since they played the Cubs in Chicago. The bottom line is that this series is going to come down to whether or not the Phillies can keep up with the offense of the Rays. The offensive talent on these clubs is even, however the pitching they will be facing is not. The Rays will be facing are far less impressive pitching rotation, therefore the Phillies are going to need to play much better than normal in order to win this series.

I'm going to put up a "Key Players" post a little later tonight hopefully so check back again soon...

This post can only be ended by three words: Fuck You Boston

UPDATE: There is a better way to end this post....Tampa women are showing their support, bikini wax style. I wonder if females in Philadelphia will top this by doing a P and dying it red/white/blue?