Week 2: NFL picks

I always take the first week off for NFL picks. It's really tough to get a feel for what a team is going to look like in the pre-season and the first week is usually when the most players get banged up. Therefore, I'm giving you my very quick, very succinct game by game run down of which team is going to win. I'm also going to cue in on a few fantasy players because that's really the only thing I care about.

Tennessee @ Cinci -

Cinci's defense isn't good and the Titans offense is WAY better off with out Emo King at the helm. Cinci gave up 230 yards to a backup running back and a converted fullback, which means only one thing...lots of spousal abuse in Cinci after the Bungals lose

Titans Win

Fantasy Impact Player - CHRIS JOHNSON - Look for this kid two rack up 20 fantasy points this week. I'm thinking 10 yards and a TD...he's a baller and he's a threat veery time he touches the ball.

Detroit vs Green Bay

Green Bay and Aaron Rodgers looked legit, against one of the best defenses in the NFL to boot. Look for Green Bay to take a big stinky poo on Detroit's week defense.

Green Bay Win

Fantasy Impact -Aaron Rodgers - Look for him to have a huge game: 250 yards and three TD's. The only thing that would stop this is a huge lead and a turn to the running game to lock out the clock.

Oakland @ Kansas City

Kansas City is bad, Oakland is worse. Oakland gave up 450 yards on D last week and LJ is going to rack up a ton of yards on this VERY weak team against the run...and the pass.

KC Wins

Fantasy Impact - LJ - Big game this week. I'd say over a hundred and a TD, which isn't always a guarantee with him.

NYG @ STL

This isn't so much that the Giants are good, as much as STL SUCKS. This game is going to be a lot closer than people think. STL got flat our embarassed by the Birds last week and their offense will be itching to get back to normal. Their defense on the other hand will be horrible as usual, if you feel like betting, bet on Giants scoring over 30 points.

GIANTS WIN

Indy @ Minnesota

Minnesota was supposed to have one of the better defenses in the NFL last week, didn't seem like it. Indy was supposed to have one of the best offenses in the NFL and they got embarassed by the Bears. This makes for an interesting match up in week 2.

INDY WINS

Fantasy impact - Reggie Wayne - I think it's VERY feasible for him to have 150 yards and 2 TD's. Harrisson is a sleeper too...

NO @ Wash

Washington is going to be in a funk for the first couple of week with the new West Coa.st offense being installed and Jason Campbell should not perform particularly well. Portis should have about 15 points this week, but NO should win this game.

NO WINS

Fantasy Impact - Jason Campbell - Tops 20 points this week, I think it will be under 15.

Chicago @ Carolina

Carolina looked incredibly solid last week, offensive line looked good...WR looked good despite Smith not being in the lineup, more importantly their running attack looked potenet with the one two punch of Deangelo and Stewart.

Chicago's defense looked stellar and their offense looked good enough to win against Indy last week.

Chicago Wins

Fantasy Impact - Desmond Clark - Look for a big day from Desmond Clark. Matt Forte is going to see more men in the box than Jenna Jameson and the TE dump play is going to be open all day. He's going to get a ton of looks and could easily rack up 75 yards and a TD.

Buffalo @ JAX

This game is a 50/50 battle and I'm giving the home team advantage to JAX. The Jags lost 3 of their top 5 guards before week two and it's going to be interesting to see how they respond. Buffalo finally gets Jason Peters back and could see a big boost in the running game.

Game is very close, JAX by 3.

JAX WINS

SF @ Seattle

SF had a horrible game against Zona and Seattle had a horrible game against Buffalo. Sad thing is, Hasselbeck has no one to throw to with Burleson, Branch and Engram out for the first four weeks and Maurice Morris is out as well. As bad as I know that Julius Jones sucks, Seattle won't lost this game at home.

SEATTLE WINS

ATL @ TB

There is a big cloud of doubt over the QB situation in TB right now. Gruden announced that Griese is going to be the starter on Wednesday (when he easily could have waited until Sunday), and there's news of TB trying to shop Garcia in a trade offer.

Evidence: http://www.profootballtalk.com/2008/09/12/gruden-says-bucs-arent-shopping-garcia-sort-of/

I think the Bucs are going to enter this game with a big question about the QB situation and the Falcons are going to enter it with a completely different one. Michael Turner won't run for 220 yards, but he will top a hundred and nail a TD.

The Falcon's game plan is going to be as obvious as Sandy Lyle's testosterone level in a eleavator full of strangers.

(1:28 in)

ATL WINS

SD @ Denver

Denver is going to win. Marshall back, Royal is going to prove himself, game in Denver....seems like a big win in D town. This is my lock of the week and I don't need to explain it further.

DENVER WINS

NE @ Jets

This whole Brady thing is ridiculous. YES, he is the best QB in football. No, Cassel hasn't started a game since high school. YES, the team is different since Cassel is the leader. NO the outcome isn't going to change.

The bottom line is that Brett Favre looked mediocre against a SHITTY Miami defense and Cassel looked the same against a comparable D. Cassel has gottena bag full of shit slung in his face by every single announcer from her to Bangkok about being horrible. This = a big time performance from Cassel.

NE WINS

Miami @ 'Zona

Zona, Miami sucks.

ZONA WINS

Pissburgh @ Cleveland

Pissburgh is 7-1 in its' last 8 games against Cleveland. Cleveland is under a TON of pressure considering its' first week performance and its' performance last year. Pissburgh on the other hand beat the shit out of an over-hyped Texans team last week.

I feel as good about this pick as I do about finding a very large Jalapeno in my nachos...This means only one thing, spousal abuse in Cleveland.

PISS WINS

Philly @ Dallas

Game of the week, no question. Dallas looked very impressive against Cleveland and Dallas looked RIDICULOUS against STL. Both of the losing teams in the previous sentence suck though, so it doesn't mean all too much.

I think it's going to be really tough for Philly to go into Dalls and walk out with a victory. On the other hand, they might be the only team that could actually pull it off. Philly is 3-1 in their last four visits to Dallas and I really think that they have the personell to do it again.

I'm legitimately going to flip a coin right now to decide this choice...heads Philly, tails Cowboys.

PHILLY WINS

B'more @ Houston

Game isn't happening...Hurricane IKE took a big poo on Houston's stadium and it's in shambles.