Dallas Cowboys -
I better get mad credit for being legit and saying that pound for pound the Cowboys have a more talented team than the Eagles. Being from Philly, that's going to get me a nice Rita's water ice to the dome, but hey, we have to be fair.
The fact is, the Cowboys are STACKED offensively. Barring some major turn of events, the Cowboys could easily average over 30 points a game. Yes, their defense, although sketchy, can hold off that many points from opponents.
That being said, possible setbacks:
- T.O. gets hurt...the backup WR's are a JOKE. Well they're all a joke besides Patrick Crayton, who is a bonafide #2 in my book (which is probably more generous than most). Even if they weren't a joke, they are all, I repeat ALL, injured.
Sam Hurd, Miles Austin and Isaiah Stanback all haven't practiced in over a month from numerous separate instances. Which is half the reason I was SHOCKED that the Cowboys didn't wet the bed when Ashley Lelie was released, let alone any other WR's with half a down of experience.
- A Carrie Underwood vs. Jessica Simpson cat fight emerges and pushes Romo's mind away from football and towards thinking twice about his sexuality. In which case, this shirt I frequently rock while playing beer pong (picture above to the right) before baseball games will be nearly four times as funny...
- T.O. starts crying at every press conference over the media attacking his recently sexually confused quarterback, decides he's done with football and marries Dennis Rodman in California.
Obviously this is a little ridiculous, but being an Eagles fan, and a former fan of T.O. it's completely feasible. (That picture to the right is my first shot at Adobe Photoshop, I think a whole world of hilarity has just opened up)
T.O. is borderline insane and he's the essence of emotional instability. For god sakes he tried to commit suicide (apparently) on pills no more than a year ago, he cries at press conferences and is vocal about anything that is going through his mind. Dallas should feel privaleged that this nut job hasn't shit the bed in Dallas yet. I'd be amazed if something awkward through their team being in the spotlight so much doesn't distract the team and give this division to the Eagles.
- Emmitt Smith or Michael Irvin visit the team and give a speech to pump up the Cowboys. Emmitt Smith might be one fo the worst public speakers in the history of...um....public speaking. Can you imagine how your team would perform if they heard this gibberish before a game?
The only reason that Michael Irvin's speech would throw the team for a loop is that it would revolve around a kilo of white powder. Other than that, I find him inspiring.
Philadelphia Eagles -
Ahh my birds, such a disappointment every year. It's like freakin' clockwork: Eagles start off hot, McNabb gets hurt, backup QB takes us to a wild card birth, we lose in the first round - or - Start off hot, win division, make it to NFC championship, we lose - or - we win, and then lose to the Pats.
Regardless of history, you have to admit this team looks good. Brian Westbrook is arguably the best running back in the NFL, McNabb is a top five QB when he is healthy (no one can argue that) and the Eagles defense is improved over last year (Lito Sheppard is a back up DB, ridiculous).
The only main weakness of this team is WR. It has been for five years and it will be again this year. Our #1 WR Kevin Curtis had hernia surgery (a #2 or #3 on any other team) and could be out for up to four weeks. Reggie Brown has a touchy hamstring, so who knows what his deal is. The major bright spot, and possibly big fantasy pick up, has been Desean Jackson. He's an automatic HR threat from the return spot, Andy Reid is smitten with him like a warm apple fritter and he's apparently ready to be a big time threat. In case you haven't seen him in the preseason, here are some clips. HE'S LIKE SPIT ON A GRIDDLE BABY!
New York G-Men -
How about this respect for the defending Super Bowl Champions? Win it all one year, and picked third in their division the next year by the NFL Nostradaumus himself, Mr. Greg Iversen.
How can I possibly pick them to be third. Hmmmm, let's see...they lost 23 sacks from last year, they're playing in a conference where every team has made major upgrades on defense (Jason Taylor, Pacman, Asante Samuel), and they lost Shockey. That, my friend is why they are going to be in third. Plus, they just hit the playoffs on a hot streak and rode it out to a championship.
Eli Manning is going to be there big winner this year. I see him improving a lot over last year, and could possibly make a jump to the top ten QB threshold at season's end.
Washington Redskins -
Ah, those pesky Redskins. They always steal a few from everyone in the division, but they are never good enough to steal more than that. Their whole season pretty much rides on the healthy/unhealthy shoulders of their running back. Portis plays well, they win, Portis plays bad, they lose. It's really that simple
Key Player: Clinton Portis
aka Dolemite Jenkins:
aka Choo Choo
aka Jerome from Southeast DC, Dr. "I Don't Know", aka get the hell off
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