The Beat Squad Defense...

If you don't know why I'm doing this, read the post from before...

Here's the lineup:

LB - Lawrence Taylor: The following accolades can be attributed to the man who revolutionized the Linebacker position... (tribute clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvHZqrNp_QU )

- The Giants defense in 1980, pre LT, was the second worst in the league giving up 425 points over the course of the season. After LT joined the Giants defense they were third best in the league, giving up 257 points. Yes, Bill Parcells was also seen for the first time as the defensive coordinator, but LT was a big part of that defense turning around.

- Everyone who's reading this knows what a sack is in football, not many know when it was created. The answer is 1982, after LT came into the league. They created it because LT rushing the QB in the manner that he did was something the league hadn't needed to keep track of until they saw how much of a game changing play it was. The freaking sack was created because of this guy...that's the hardest thing any football player can say.

- He had 20.5 sacks from the linebacker position...that is unheard of...

- He was the NFL MVP in 1986. In case you were wondering, the AP has given a defensive player the MVP three times in 50 years.

Obviously it would be fun to go out with this dude, I mean did you see him in Any Given Sunday? He cut an f'ing car in half with a god damn chain saw, who would not enjoy seeing that? ( I've searched all over, but can't find a picture...sorry) Given LT's flair for addiction and just general badassness, I could see something absolutely insane happening out of hanging out with him. Plus, if anything rowdy happens, you can count on him re-enacting Joe Theisman's leg injury on any gibrone's...(don't watch this if you have a weak stomach)




LB - Bill Romanowski: I feel, better yet, I know, that this guy is clinically insane. I think Romo's place on this team is well understood by the following on-field actions (and fines associated with the actions).

'02 - Ripped off Eddie George's helmet ($5,000)
'01 - Knocked out Roland Williams with a blatant late hit ($7,500)
'99 - Smoked Fred Taylor's knee ($15,000)
'99 - Beheaded Trent Dilfer ($10,000)
'99 - Punched Tony Gonzalez in the head ($10,000)
'97 - Spit in J.J. Stokes face in the middle of Monday Night Football ($7,500)
'97 - Broke Kerry Collins Jaw ($20,000)
'96 - Kicked Larry Centers in the head ($4,500)

That's a grand total of $79,500 spent on kicking people's asses. Then he admitted to juicing while he was in the league (as if it wasn't obvious already). Three reasons I want to drink with Romo:

1) If he has $80,000 to spend on hitting people, he will buy a Jager-bomb to anyone I point at

2) If some gibrone starts bumping chests, Romonowski will spit on him, ensuring that I get to
see Kyle Turley rip of said gibrone's head and throw it thirty yards down the street

3) I think Romanowski has the common sense of a 7 year-old, if you add the phrase "I triple dog dare you," to anything, he will do it. i.e. "Hey Billy, I triple dog dare you to rip that tree out of the ground and throw it at that cop..."

If I could somehow get the Bill Romanowski from 1999 (what seems like his banner year) I'm guaranteeing an awesome night...

LB: Brian Urlacher - Two reasons I want to roll with Urlacher. A) We can go in to any bar and gaggles of girls will be crawling all over us. B) I just wanted to put up this picture of Urlacher dominating this girl from Rock of Love.

DE: Mark Gastineau - Have you seen this guys ex-wife and his daughter Brittny...jesus christo. He's allowed to roll just so I can get his daughters cell phone number. Mark would be in charge of rolling with fem bots considering he is a ladies man (his wife divorced him after walking in on him nailing Brigitte Nielsen).

What the hell is wrong with Flav and Mark, this chick is ugly as hell...

DT: Casey Hampton - Reason #1 his nickname is "Big Snack" and I want to find out the intricacies around why he is named that and I want him to show me how much shit he can eat.

Reason #2 is...look at this guy...

...he knows how to party.

LB: Shawne Merriman - I basically just wanted to put this picture up...

What an unbelievable shot of him dousing chicks with bubbly...on a side note he could do his lights out dance in the bar and everyone can rip shots to it or something. Awesome picture, I want to be able to get away with doing this at some point in my life.

Let me know if you have any other worthy players....I'll probably add some more dudes later