Does anyone know how to make this my ringtone?

This dude is a total Chode...

You've got to be kidding me...

Not a lot of talk this post, just a lot of video...I hope this first video is not serious

This might go down in history as the best thing a fan (who happens to be the ref of the game) has ever done for his team.



This is ridiculous, and this man should be elected "You Tube Chair" in Barack's office.



For those of you who haven't seen this actual music video...get ready. Nothing says creey like a red head dancing around in a trench coat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

Useless Stuff I Found Today...

WHO NEEDS GOLF?

Via the mann (Josh Mann), I was made aware the Jon Daly has been soiling his pants via alcohol.

Jon Daly was escorted out of a North Carolina Hooter's restaurant (which ironically has been one of his, I'm sure proud, sponsor's since 8/05) last night after he passed out after hours of drinking. The paramedics tried to assist him but he said "f*&$ you guys, I've drank a lot more than that." (I think he said that at least)

The cops took him in for a "24-Hour sober up," period.

He looks pretty good, no?




HOW HAS THIS NOT SURFACED?

For those of you who didn't know already, there is a former Ms. Alaska running for VP of America and she is pretty hot. I don't know how videos of her swimming suit part of the competition haven't surfaced yet....oh wait they just did.

Should Game 5 of the World Series Have Been Played?

Yes.

Should Bud Selig have made the decision to play nine innings? Yes.

Could the game have been handled better? You bet your ascot.

In my opinion there two mistakes, one a major one, mistake that was made that could have possibly changed the entire outcome of this world series.

I'm sure you're all intelligent human beings and have figured out the big mistake I'm talking about already...the sixth inning.

The bottom line is that it shouldn't have happened at all. It makes game 5 unfair. I don't care how bad you want to play nine innings of baseball, it shouldn't occur in a monsoon. Bud Selig made a horrible decision to continue playing this game into the sixth inning. We were already at an even point in the game; each team had hit through fifteen outs, each team had defended fifteen outs. The field was a ridiculous sight. There were divits the size of my head near second and first. Luckily I recorded this game....check out these pictures.


















How ridiculous is this field? On top of that, what the hell was Bud Selig thinking with a radar screen like that? Yeah maybe you can get three more innings in with Baltimore being bombarded with rain...

Beyond this major mistake that Bud Selig made, he should have relayed the information that there would be nine innings played no matter what. If he did this, I can guarantee you that Joe Maddon and Charlie Manuel would have thought the game should be finished on another day...way to drop the ball Bud.

So, What Now?


There have been some interesting conversations coming out of this decision to stop the game. Is it time that baseball opens it's eyes and picks a neutral site (that isn't -35 degrees in October) to play the world series? Should Joe Buck be kicked in the teeth in order for him to commentate the next World Series on Fox? how would these decisions affect the outcome of the All-Star Game? (You all should know that the outcome of the All-Star game determines the home field advantage for the world series)


I think that the world series should continue to be played how it is. I love the home field advantage. It's something that you fight for over 162 games to earn. The fans deserve to be able to pay $1,000 for a nose-bleed seat and get plastered in a parking lot no more than 30 minutes from their doorstep. That's the right you deserve as a baseball fan and my god Bud Selig, if you take that from me I will hit you with a baseball bat, after I beat up Joe Buck. What a schmuck.

Who's better than Kruk?

I don't have a job with ESPN because I'm 1/10th the man John Kruk is. I've always been a fan of the Matt Stairs look a like but this recent finding makes him even better. This link will take you to two QUALITY showings on David Letterman back in the nineties...Kruk's haircut and wit are priceless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHUylS-zdHs

why do i not get a job with espn?

Will someone please give me credit for calling out balfour?

I've stepped it up fans...

(UPDATED - Mainly for clarity purposes, I was slightly drunk at the time and some of this stuff doesn't make sense, but it was all going through my head I promise you...)

I'm officially bloggin from a f'ing bar, am I a model of determination or what?

After listening to the AM Radio stations over the past week or so I was struck with a homework assignment that I believe everyone can get a kick out of. We all hate Joe Buck, it's like a disease that Fox has injected into all of America's veins and I got a double dose. A caller came on the show and was complaining about how he hates Joe Buck and the announcer kind of ripped him to shreds because he had no evidence of what Buck said to piss him off. So, as a homework assignment I wrote down everything he said that pissed me off during the game...here ya go:

1st inning...

- "pena hitless in the world series" (wow, can we try to break a streak)
- "the ever so dangerous evan longoria"
- "and that's a pitch longoria usually crushes"
- an incredibly lame reference to desperate housewives
- "rollins...hitless in this series" (and he just got a hit, take that Joe Buck)
+ "rollins is the best base stealer in the game"
- "philadelphia has left eleven on in each of the first two games... "
+ "superb base running by rollins and werth" ( by other announcer)
+ "garza is not comfortable"
- "utley behind in count" (when he's not...he was up 2-1)
- show shitty stat about howard...
- "how much do you want to test ryan howard who has only three rbi's in the post season"
- "more trouble for ryan howard"

2nd inning

- "7 for 7 crawford stealing third"

4th inning

- evan "don't call me eva" longoria
- let's tote matt ryan in front of philadelphia fans...fuck fox

5th inning

+ Made note of philly knockin bombs out of the park...
- during this game a three minute, dude on dude dance session broke out at field house. Not cool
- Made a reference to Jamie moyers "incredible move to first base" which could possibly be the worst in the majors
- not about joe buck, but Jamie Moyer sticking his tongue out might be one of the highlights of the series...

..it's a hectic time here in philly

Go Phils, let's collectively stop depression in philly

P.s. I love joe buck talking shit on the carl crawford call at first

After writing all of this, I don't think Joe Buck is really that biased, he just says what is going on. I still hate him though, he seems like a prick.

Mid WS Game 1 Post

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TACOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!

Next Tuesday, everyone needs to take complete advantage of Taco Bell's free "steal base get a taco," campaign. Tuesday October 28th is the official free taco day...please coerce yourself, by way of grade E meat, to the bathroom for threee days and make your significant other love baseball just a bit more...

We're in the 6th inning and it looks like the Phillies are on their way to a game one victory. They are making Kazmir pitch 8000 pitches per inning and are already digging into the bullpen. Scary thing is that the Rays can hit at any minute and Cole Hamels look like he has maybe one more good inning in him.

BREAKING NEWS: The president of Taco Bell is fat. WHAT A SURPRISE!

Check Out The Buns on that Hose-Hound

Last night I was sitting around thinking about what was going to decide this series. The more I thought about it the more I felt like this series is basically even. There are three people from each team who are going to make a difference in my decision of how this series will end...that's it.

Phillies:

Pat Burrell

Why is Pat going to need a big performance down in Tampa in order for the Phils to get off to a good start? The main reason is because no one has bulging biceps and bear rug chest hair like that. The other is in game one they are going to be facing a strong lefty and he's the only person, besides Utley, that is hitting well against them. Whens the last time they faced a dominant left-hander? No, that wasn't on his fourth consecutive three day rest start....it's Johan Santana on 9/7 in the second game of a double-header.

Pat is going to need to be that spark in the first game, he is hitting .280 against lefties this season and is the only power right handed bat in the lineup.

Besides the offense he brings, Pat is going to have to play good D in a tough dome to see fly balls. This is not the time for one of the lame jogs to fly balls, they disappear up there and you need every second to react to the ball. I can almost guarantee you that this comes up at least once while he is down in Tampa, I just hope it's not costly.

Jamie Moyer

I hate to put the stats out there, but last outing: 1.1 innings, 6 hits, 6 ER, 1 HR, 2 Ks. His outing before that he only lasted 4 innings and let up two runs on 90 pitches.

You have to wonder if his arm is tired or if he is just flustered. Either way, he needs to get over it and focus on game 3. The great thing about him not being stellar in his past two games is that historically he is going to turn it around.

If you look at his season history, he's given 5 or 6 runs three times this season, want to know what his next game was? A win for the Phillies. In Moyer's last 17 games the Phillies are 13-4, in those that were at home, 5-2.

Stats aside, Moyer needs to pitch game 3 like it's the last game he's ever going to pitch, because it might be. The Rays are going to come into Philadelphia and be shell-shocked for the first couple of innings because they're finally going to hear what 40,000+ fans that actually care about the game sound like. If Moyer can take advantage and get on a roll, watch out...could make for a good home-stand.

On a side note, doesn't Jamie Moyer look a lot like Scott Baio in that card? ( http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&q=scott+baio )

Cole Hamels

Cole has been amazing. He's shown everyone in the country that he is an ace, just ask the Brewers and Dodgers. He's also shown his team that despite being a 24 year old kid from California, he is a leader and a big game performer. All he's done in the playoffs is dominated two of the better hitting teams in the NL and earned the NLCS MVP. Now all he has to do is beat the best hitting team in the AL.

Cole's biggest tell on his performance is giving up the long ball. In games where he has given up 2 or more home runs, he is 0-8. The good thing about that stat is that he didn't have complete control of his change up during the first 2/3 of the season. In mid-August Cole turned a corner going 8-2 in his last 10 decisions, allowing only 6 HR's (he allowed 2 only once).

The Phillies need a big game out of their Ace and I think they're going to get it.

Interesting Stats:

The Phillies game three starter made his major league debut when the Rays' two star rookies were less than a year old. Also, Jamie Moyer will be making the first World Series start of his 22-year career.

Only three players have faced Scott Kazmir: Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard and Pat Burrell. Their combined stats: 1/6, 1 K, 3 BB...

Phillies biggest strength is wearing down pitchers; be patient, make him throw strikes, wear him down boys.

The Cowboys Suck.

AND NOW THE RAYS:

David Price

Everyone who is reading this blog was watching game 7. We all saw his 97-98 mph fastball overwhelm the Red Sox. This phenoms first big time situation was a 2 on, 2 outs top of the 8th inning show in which he struck out a batter to get out of the inning (on a shitty call fyi).

The kid is still young, but he is going to be called upon to do some big things in this playoff series. I've heard this before...oh wait, it was when Maddon was the bench coach on the Angels. That's right, a kid named Frankie Rodriguez came in at 20 years old, won five post season games en route to a gold trophy with a bunch of small flags on it.

2 things are going for this kid: A) people haven't seen him in the regular season, so his pitches are going to surprise batters B) he was a stud at Vandy and pitched gem after gem in pressure situations in college...

It's going to be interesting to see how he pitches in the world series, but I have a feeling he is going to be 2008's K-Rod.

Grant Balfour

What in the hell happened to this guy? Balfour was lights out all season, posting a 1.54 ERA with a ridiculous .89 WHIP over the regular season. Then he comes in to relieve Scott Kazmir in the infamous Red Sox comeback and gives up 4 runs while only getting one out. He has only pitched in game six since then when all he did was come in, walk a guy, get a pop out and then walk a guy.

I can't believe more people haven't put an emphasis on this. He was the best set up man for the Rays all season; if he doesn't hit this hand-bike a little harder and get out of this funk, it's going to be hard for them to hand off the torch to Price.

Mr. 210

What the F bomb is going on with this guy too? He hits 9 HR's all year and then suddenly decided to start hitting for power? He's hit seven home runs in the post season including four in his last five games. Did he take a trip to see Jose Canseco? Is he finally healthy?

Who knows...the big question is can he keep it up. We know Longoria and Pena's power is legit, they've both been crushing pitches all season. BJ Upton's was hiding in 2007 (he hit 24 home runs in 2007) and apparently decided to make an appearance. Maybe Maddon told him to focus on speed more so that they could manufacture runs, maybe because it thinks it will make him a better future player to focus on whatever the hell he was focusing on this year. Either way, he is a HUGE part to their success through the ALCS, and he will be crucial in the WS.

Interesting Stat: With Devil in their name: has a .398 winning percentage (645-972), were last place 9 out of 10 years, flaunted Fred "The Crime Dog" McGriff as their franchise best player,

Since omitting Devil: have won an AL East title, won a seven game series in the playoffs, set the record for Homeruns in a single series, set a franchise record for wins in a season, have one of the top five youngest average age of starters in the majors, generally don't suck anymore.

IN CLOSING

This is going to be an unbelievable series. It's going to be offensive, there are going to be a lot of HR's and some great defense. All that being said I think the bullpens, like always, are going to decide this series.

If you look the bullpens up and down, it really comes down to the Rays being in a bit of trouble. Yeah, Maddon did put Price in...who the hell else was he going to turn to? Wheeler's throwing cantaloupes to batters, J.P. Howell can' throw a fastball over 88 and Balfour doesn't know what country he's in since he let up four in Boston.

So all signs point to the Phillies winning except for their ridiculous string of bad luck.

GO PHILLIES (In six games)

Rays-Phillies World Series Shit-show

Bottom-line, this could be one of the most offensive World Series to ever hit the big stage. Both of these lineups are STACKED offensively and could output double digits in any game. That being said, here are my keys to the series for each team:

RAYS:

Relief Pitchers - This was the Achilles heel in the series altering game in the Red Sox series. The infamous 12 inning win by the Sox, 8 runs via Dan Wheeler, J.P. Howell and company. However, the next game they responded by throwing four shutout innings and I think we all saw their performance last night.

The Rays have some ridiculous talent to throw at you in the end of a game: David Price, Grant Balfour, J.P. Howell, Edwin Jackson. All of those guys have fastballs above 95 (except Howell who throws all off-speed junk) and can turn hitters around to walk to their dugouts in big spots.

RUN RUN RUN - The Phillies have had problems defending the running game all season and the Rays have three players in the middle of their lineup who can steal a base at any given moment (Iwamura, Upton, Crawford). If the Rays get their lead off hitters on the base paths, they could be forcing the Phillies pitchers to deal in some high pressure situations. Could turn out to be a huge part of the Rays offense.

Happy Hour Hitters - Ah, the 5-9 club. Other than the game last night (2 rbi's, 1 HR) they have been a huge waste of life during the post season. If they can get any sort of streak going, this team is going to put up over ten runs on the board. Over a three game period, the 1-2-3-4 hitters put up 21 runs, by themselves.


Stop Wearing Ray-Hawks: Well get your fans to stop, because they look retarded.

PHILLIES:


Phillies Starters - These guys are going to have to pitch the first run through the lineup perfectly. The Rays scored 2 or more runs in the first inning in 3 of the last seven games, in the games they didn't score in the first inning, they T'd off their next time around. The Rays are VERY good their second time through the lineup, they get pitcher's timing down quickly and sit on pitches and usually crush them if you give them what they are looking for. If Ruiz & Co. can keep them off kilter through 6 innings and limit them to three runs , the Phillies will win this series.

Stop Pitching Upton Fastballs - Jesus H. Christ he's hit 7 HR's in the postseason (4 in his last 7 games) and he had 9 all season long. Every HR he has hit he was sitting on a fastball and the pitcher's delivered it to him. I think it's safe to say he's locked in right now, stop giving Mr. 210 Ding Dong's for breakfast.

(By the way if you're wondering what Mr. 210 means, it's a shortcut for saying Blow J...second letter in the alphabet and the tenth...hence B.J. Upton's nickname is Mr. 210)

Beat Up James Shields - I mean Tanya Harding the crap out of him. Pull out a crow bar and break his femur in nine places. Shields has not been solid in the postseason, he seems like he's lost a little of his "bad-assness." Plus shelling anyone who is referred to as "Jamie" would make it all the more fun. If Philly can come out of Tampa with one win against one of their dominant young pitchers, I would consider it a huge boost and Shields is their best chance. Philly is going to be going NUTS for the first world series in thirty years (tickets for standing room only are $800 on stub hub right now) and I think they can ride that to at least two wins at home.

This is going to be the best team the Phillies have faced in nearly two months since they played the Cubs in Chicago. The bottom line is that this series is going to come down to whether or not the Phillies can keep up with the offense of the Rays. The offensive talent on these clubs is even, however the pitching they will be facing is not. The Rays will be facing are far less impressive pitching rotation, therefore the Phillies are going to need to play much better than normal in order to win this series.

I'm going to put up a "Key Players" post a little later tonight hopefully so check back again soon...

This post can only be ended by three words: Fuck You Boston

UPDATE: There is a better way to end this post....Tampa women are showing their support, bikini wax style. I wonder if females in Philadelphia will top this by doing a P and dying it red/white/blue?