What is America coming to?

I don't know if you like Mayo, I don't know if you like mustard, I don't even know if you like ketchup or BBQ sauce, but I do know one thing...we're all about done with these god damn Miracle Whip commercials.

I mean, do you seriously enjoy these things? "We are Miracle Whip and we will not back down?" That is the dumbest advertising line I think I have ever heard in my life. It makes you wonder what question they're answering.

So you figure they were sitting in a board room and the dialogue went something like this:

Consultant: "I don't know if you've realized, but America is getting smarter about what they eat."

Miracle Whip: "Wait what? America has been eating McDonald's and cramming Ho Ho's down their throats for over 100 years, what makes you think they're going to stop eating mayonnaise."

Consultant: "The Biggest Loser, Alli, gym memberships are up, a ridiculous push to add fiber to everything (which make you shit a lot and feel more full), etc., etc."

Miracle Whip: "Well what can we do, our product is a mayo substitute which is not as fattening, but is still basically lard..."

Consultant: "Well you could bend over and say your product makes life better or (lights get dim) you could...NOT BACK DOWN!"



What the hell does this whole commercial even mean? "We will not disappear in the background?"

It means "we're a shitty, unhealthy product and we're going to tell you."

While I'm at it...what the hell is the deal with the Levi's commercials? Did they hire the same agency?

Check it:



I don't really know where I'm going with this...i guess I just think these commercials blow...so yeah....these commercials blow